


Two and Two Together

by SG5evah (orphan_account)



Category: Spice Girls, Spice World (1997)
Genre: F/F, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SG5evah
Summary: SPICE GIRLS. A Mel B and Geri fanfic, boom!





	1. 2007-2008 Reunion Talks

**Author's Note:**

> There's a rumour going around since forever that they have slept together. Neither has ever denied it though both have admitted being with women. So, this fic.... 
> 
> Also posted in ffnet.

Victoria passed out about an hour ago. She survived exactly three rounds of margarita on the rocks but couldn’t get past the tequila shots that Melanie B would not stop pouring. Melanie C was not doing so well either. With each drink, her eyes grew brighter, until finally, at half past two she couldn’t be arsed and just rolled over on the floor of Geri’s bedroom and snored. 

Geri herself was feeling the effects of too much alcohol too soon after months of abstinence, though she was holding it as well as she could. Next to her, Mel B was giggling drunkenly as she drew a pair of glasses on Victoria’s face with her lipstick. Geri felt the old familiar urge to join in the fun, especially since Vicky was absolutely out of it, but had enough self-control to keep the latter’s adorably made-up face moustache-free. Mel B’s giggles were contagious though and she couldn’t keep herself from sniggering even as she warned Mel B to keep her voice down.

“The kids are asleep,” she said. She meant Bluebell and Angel who were in the next room with their nannies. 

“SSHHH,” Mel B stage-whispered, putting a finger over her lips. She reached for her drink at the same time she tried to get up from where she was crouched on the floor. She missed and nearly fell over, if not for Geri scrabbling to help. All she did really, since she miscalculated her own sobriety, slipped and promptly fell at Mel B’s feet. The taller woman’s laughter boomed.

“Bloody opera!” Geri swore as she scrambled to get up.

“Last man standing,” the other woman boasted, making no effort to help, instead downing another shot of tequila. “You used to be better at this, Geri.”

“Me?” She protested. “You’re completely legless.”

“Says the cheeky git who’s on her knees on the floor in the middle of her bedroom.” A glint entered Melanie’s eyes but disappeared so quickly, Geri thought she imagined it.

This was supposed to be a celebration. Nine years after Geri left the group, six years since she made amends and patched up what was left of her relationship with the other girls, four years since Melanie B could finally tease her, without the usual sting, about leaving on her birthday, the Spice Girls were reuniting for a world tour. Though the business decision behind it all had long been inked, tonight’s dinner at Geri’s home was supposed to be the final clincher to get all the girls in the same headspace before their scheduled press conference at the O2 Arena to announce their intentions.

Geri was determined to make it work. And to a certain extent, the evening was successful. All of them came. Even Victoria, who was fashionably late as usual. They all had a good laugh, a good cry, a good time reminiscing about the old days. Even more than usual. They were a group, and something almost magical always happened when they were a group.

The plan was just dinner, and Vicky even made sure to have her driver pick her up at nine o’ clock on the dot. She ended up staying on anyway for some after-dinner drinks. She called David and said goodnight to the boys. Melanie C also gave Tom a tinkle to let him know she’d be staying out late. Only Emma understandably didn’t partake and left early. She was right to do so since it wasn’t long before the evening devolved into pure debauchery at Mel B’s instigation and with Geri’s encouragement. It was almost like they were in their twenties again, hopelessly broke and ready to take on the world. 

Geri finally managed to get up and watched as Melanie poured herself another glass. “Have another drink,” she said sarcastically.

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Why the bloody hell not?”

“’Coz you’re in my fucking bedroom, that’s why.”

Melanie snickered. “Please, you used to love me in your fucking bedroom.”

Geri just laughed, not even bothering to deny it. There was a time when they were young and tumultuous, when the intensity of their closeness often flared up – horrible rows followed brief interludes of complete intimacy, times when they were drunk on wine, on vodka, on each other and were utterly unrestrained.

 But that was all in the past. She’d already written two books about that period in her life, for crying out loud. And Melanie had written one as well. Geri could still remember reading Mel B’s autography and barely getting through the day without picking up the phone to dial her old friend and bawl about what happened, what they had, what they lost. For all her shite about her reasons for leaving the band, it was outright devastating to realize what cauterizing herself from the group meant to that one girl in particular. She could still recall the day she waited for Melanie to show up at the hotel, that feeling of nervous excitement and heart-stopping fear, of endless second-guessing as her mind went through the what-ifs and if-onlys. But when Mel B finally arrived, all tanned and golden, with her booming laugh, Geri knew – she just knew they were going to be alright. 

The cliché was true. Time healed all wounds.

And now, this. The reunion.

From a purely practical standpoint, it was time. Yet, Geri sometimes wondered if it was too soon. If she were honest with herself, it felt like she had just patched things up with the girls. It was sort of like reforging salvaged steel and then testing it. One had to ask if the material had been allowed to sit long enough, else it would break under pressure. Because it was a test – this reunion. ‘Did any of it matter?’ was the principal question. Did their brief but forceful success translate to continued viability as a group? Because they had name recognition but no real longevity in their careers as individual artists.

More importantly, it was a test of their bond. After all the upheavals, the catastrophic separation that shocked the world, the acerbic exchanges and cutting remarks that followed, both in public and in private, _did any of it matter?_

“For what it’s worth, no matter what I might say later, it means a lot to me. This tour.” Melanie was on the floor with Mel C, her back against the bed, long legs stretched out in front of her and on top of the dozing girl, nursing her drink. She looked up as Geri came over and crouched beside her. Instinctively, she put her arm up and the other woman sagged against her. Like always.

“It means a lot to me, too. I mean, I’m terrified and excited all at the same time, d’ye know what I mean?”

“Stephen doesn’t think it’s a great idea,” Melanie revealed.

Ah. The husband of a fortnight. Geri had not yet formally met the bloke and only knew him based on what tabloids wrote about him. She knew better than to believe everything she read but, she had to admit, it was all rather whirlwind-y for her – the quick affair and secret Las Vegas wedding. As a romantic at heart, Geri preferred long, amorous courtships herself, despite what the media might like to portray and her string of beaus might otherwise indicate. Then again, maybe it was exactly what Melanie needed at this time. In the wake of her bitter custody struggle for Angel, Mel was going through quite a year. As for Geri, she was just so grateful to have her friends back, she was willing to build up the relationship to its former glory with her bare hands, brick by single brick. If it meant being less vocal about her personal opinions, she would. Diplomacy, for Geri, was a skill that only came with age.

“Right. What’s the worst that could happen then?” Geri hypothesized.

“We could fail spectacularly and become the laughingstock of the century, that’s what,” Melanie pointed out. She caught a strand of Geri’s hair and played with it absentmindedly.

“Hard cheese if we do. But I don’t think it bloody likely,” Geri returned thoughtfully, picking at a loose thread on Mel’s clothes. “Think about it. As soon as rumors of our reunion came out, the media just swallowed it all up, wouldn’t shut up about it. After all these years and the, you know… Well, there’s a lot of hype around it, around us, and with our tenth-year anniversary just around the corner, it’s the perfect time. It’s fitting. Brilliant, really. D’ye know what I mean?”

Melanie silently agreed.

“Either way, the fans will love it,” Geri continued with infectious enthusiasm. “And that’s what really matters, innit? We’ll give them such a - such a _blinding_ performance, they’ll talk of nothing else for years! We’ll have all sorts, good music, pyrotechnics, great acts, and, ehm, I don’t know, topless dancing! A right, proper goodbye, that’s what we’ll give them.”

At this, Melanie only chuckled, shaking her head and saying with supreme affection, “You’re bonkers, Geri, you really are.” Then she merrily whispered, “Topless dancing?”

Geri tossed her head back and laughed. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

“I wouldn’t mind actually.”

“You’re both bonkers as far as I’m concerned,” another voice piped up. Melanie C was awake, had been for a while apparently. “God, what time is it?” She grumbled as she extricated herself from under Melanie’s legs.

“You alright, love?” Geri asked.

Melanie C nodded then did a double take, noticing for the first time her unfortunate position. “Hang on a minute,” she noted with a frown. “If Geri’s here, and we’re in her bedroom, how in the bleeding hell did I end up between your legs, Melanie?”

Geri and Mel B erupted into laughter.


	2. ROTSG

“Where’s Mel B?” A production assistant asked repeatedly, poking his head into each dressing room.

Each time, a dolled-up Spice Girl and her stylists turned to him blankly. Emma looked sideways. Melanie C went back to exercising her vocal cords. Only Victoria answered drily, “I wouldn’t check in Geri’s room if I were you.” 

The P.A. looked confused. “What does that mean?” 

Victoria just smirked while Melanie C chortled.

 

* * *

 

 

Geri couldn’t pinpoint when it all started again. Or who initiated what. All she knew was that she and Mel B had little flirts going on whenever they were on stage. Melanie would give her that come-hither look and Geri would shimmy up to her, singing certain lyrics of their songs to each other and groping each other playfully. But there was nothing new about that. They always played off of each other; that was kind of their thing. What was different was that something was off-kilter with Melanie. 

At first, Geri chucked it off as newlywed blues. Melanie barely had any time for herself, let alone for a tag-along husband and a baby barely a year old. Having the girls together was a saving grace but, if they had to be honest, they each carried their own demons. This, coupled with the grueling schedule of the tour, created unavoidable tensions and chafed nerves. But it wasn’t until Geri walked in on Melanie curled up in a fetal position in the shower that she realized there might be something serious going on there.

Geri tried her best to be the good loyal friend and took care of Mel, cuddling and telling her everything was going to be alright. But the truth was that she was furious and didn’t know whom to blame.

Melanie was no help. She completely shut down. Any and every attempt by Geri to broach the subject was thwarted as Melanie alternated between acting hostile and overtly sexual whenever they were alone. She refused to let Geri get a word in edgewise. 

One night, Melanie joked about some fan proposing to Geri on stage. They all had a big laugh about it. Later, after the performance, she barged into Geri’s dressing room and released a few choice words. She was practically seething over something Geri had no clue on. Geri knew better than to try to talk over Melanie when she was like this. She waited until the other woman was finished before she started giving as much as she got. She barely began when Melanie cut her off with an aggressive kiss on the lips. 

The first time it happened, Geri was shocked. The second time around, she returned the kiss, which if anything was even more shocking. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. She told herself it couldn’t progress to anything more than a few backstage snogs. They’d shared that before. Harmless really. Many of them weren’t even meant to evoke anything – rather to stomp down on unwanted emotions. And they never talked about it.

Geri was convinced the others didn’t know. It was sheer insanity with everybody’s family there, Victoria’s entourage of bodyguards and assistants, and each of the four girl’s personal stylists and nannies. And from all this constant turmoil Melanie would often take her hand and drag her out for a girls’ night out, just the two of them. Nothing happened then, because Melanie _still_ refused to talk, choosing instead to dance and drink with her at some club like they used to do all the time.

To be honest, Geri was enjoying it. She was with her four best friends, being the center of fan adulation again. She was touring. And for the first time in years, she was single. Melanie B was especially hyper-focused on that.

“We have…an agreement,” Mel B randomly told her while the two of them were out and about in Las Vegas for the US leg of their tour. She was explaining to her why Stephen didn’t seem to object to Mel B and Geri’s nights out.

“What d’ye mean, ‘an agreement?’” Geri laughingly asked, not quite sure if Melanie was serious or what. 

“It means either of us can sleep with anybody,” Melanie said with characteristic bluntness.

“Blimey.”

“Yeah,” Mel B shrugged, then gestured with her head towards the dance floor. “C’mon, Geraldine, let’s dance and show these tossers how to bust a move.” 

Some nights, they didn’t even go out. Simply stayed in Geri’s hotel room, letting the kids play together, while they discussed anything from future plans with the group to each other’s music endeavors. Somewhere, sometime, Melanie had decided to let Stephen manage her once the tour was over. 

“Oh, what about Simon then?”

Melanie shrugged and absently fixed a loose strand of hair on Geri’s head. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed. Geri was squatting on the floor, playing with Bluebell and Angel. The two were getting along famously and it warmed Geri’s heart to see Bluebell taking to Angel so much she did everything the other did. Impulsively, she inclined her head to look at Mel who just smiled and leaned over, planting a quick, warm peck on her lips. 

“Si can shove it up his fucking ass,” Melanie declared.

“Language.” 

“Sorry. Mr. Fuller can shove it up his fucking bum.”

Geri cackled in appreciation. 

“I really like the view from up here,” Melanie said after a moment, eyeing Geri’s cleavage leeringly. 

“You’ve always had a thing for breasts, you bloody lesbian.”

“Well, you always had yours out. Can you blame me?”

One morning, Geri happened to be alone in her hotel room, nursing a hangover when she felt someone slip into bed beside her. She knew without turning whose hands wrapped around her waist and whose legs brushed over hers as the person spooned her from behind. Everything was familiar, even her scent and the way her curly hair tickled her cheek as she buried her face against Geri’s nape.

“Good morning, my love,” Melanie said. 

Geri tried to smile but ended with only a grimace as she grabbed one of Melanie’s roaming hands, intertwining their fingers together. “My head is full of wailing cats,” she half-muttered, half-groaned. 

“Got the ol’ Spanish flu then?” 

“I don’t know how you do it. Bloody hell, I’m dying.” 

Melanie laughed softly, pressing a kiss on her shoulder. Then she lifted the blanket and peeked inside. “Are you naked in there? I can see your thingies,” she said with the enthusiasm of a twelve-year-old boy.

“Oh god. Can you shut up for a second?”

She did but also playfully slipped her hand under the blanket to cop a feel. Geri rolled over, stretched and gave a jaw-cracking yawn. Melanie rose slightly, supporting her head with one hand but kept the other where it was, making slow, caressing motions. The sensations, like her scent, were old and familiar. Geri stared at the ceiling for a half minute, then glanced at Melanie’s face, seeing there what she realized she’d been dreading to see ever since they’d started this – whatever this is. 

There was a moment – a brief moment – when she thought she could still put a stop to this. But Melanie chose this moment to lodge her leg between hers and lower her mouth to her lips.

The kiss this time was hot and hungry and, Geri thought, reeked of desperation. Something was wrong but Melanie wasn’t letting her in, as usual. So instead Geri left herself open, allowing the other woman to take complete control, accepting the tongue that tangled with hers roughly, softening her mouth against lips that bruised, running her hands soothingly over her toned back, gentling her until finally Melanie relaxed and trembled in her arms.

Geri brought her hands up and cupped her face. “Mel, look at me,” she said in a voice made throaty by the kiss.

It took a while for Melanie to meet her gaze. When she did, her eyes were dark and unfocused, the pupils dilated. 

With a pang, Geri realized what it was. She smiled through vision suddenly blurred by unshed tears. “Whatever it is, I’m here, alright. I'm here now. I will always be here.” 

For a minute, Melanie didn’t seem like she heard or understood what Geri said. Geri wondered if Melanie was thinking about the past - that Geri wasn't always there actually. The knowledge of that, the trauma, felt like shoving a hand in her chest and squeezing without mercy.

A single tear fell from her Melanie's eye, and dropped on Geri’s cheek, warm then cool in seconds.

Geri continued, “We’ll sort it out. Together. Like we’ve always done, alright?”

Melanie nodded. Then Geri flipped them over so that she was straddling the former on the bed. The sheet fell from around her and Mel’s eyes widened in appreciation. Geri smiled, knowing she had all of the woman’s attention. “I’m going to love you now,” she whispered against Mel’s lips.

“God, Geri, your breath…” was the teasing reply.

“Then I’m gonna slap you right after.” 

And Melanie shattered into a laugh.

 

* * *

 

 

The P.A. hesitated at the door of Ginger Spice’s dressing room. Victoria Beckham’s insinuations still echoed inside his head and his thoughts were filled with naughty imaginings between the two. He knocked twice in quick succession.

“Enter!” Someone called, followed by laughter. 

The P.A. paused. That was definitely Mel B’s Northern laugh. He turned the knob, pushed the door open and stepped in.

Geri, a.k.a. Ginger Spice, turned in her seat while her stylist paused in the middle of putting the finishing touches to her make-up. On another chair next to her sat Melanie B, hair a complete mess and make-up free. She was laughing at some joke that Geri just told. They were both in costume for the performance that was starting in two and a half hours.

The P.A. didn’t know whether he should be disappointed or relieved. “There you are,” he said. “Please, you have to come to your dressing room. Your stylist is waiting for you.”


	3. 6 Hr Window

Geri stepped out of Monty’s nursery room, careful to keep the door slightly ajar, and then crept to Bluebell’s room next door. The night lamp was still on. She quietly opened the door and saw Blue’s sweet face on the bed looking back at her.

“Hey, Bluey,” Geri said, walking over and sitting on the side of the bed. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Mum,” she only said. She was smiling, eyes wide and brimming with excess energy.

Geri could totally understand. It had been an exciting, chaotic day. The Spice Girls had all been there with Simon Fuller. Photos were taken. Tentative plans were made. Blue and Monty were the only kids around and the other Spice mums spoiled them rotten.

Somehow, the get-together got leaked and so there were paparazzi camped outside the house. Granted, one or two of them were always out there but today was a big day, which meant a lot more flashing cameras than usual as one by one the band members arrived, stayed for a few hours, then left. Only one Spice Girl remained. Melanie B wanted to go out but had to settle for a quiet dinner in.

Geri pressed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead and told her not to stay up too late. Then she went out and closed the door softly behind her. She walked past the master bedroom on her way to the staircase. Outside the kitchen, Geri paused. Mel B was talking on the phone. It sounded like she was speaking with her assistant – the one that had been working for Mel for years and had become a very good friend.

Mel looked up as Geri walked in and smiled distractedly. “…Yeah, just go on ahead,” she continued, pulling a chair up for Geri. “I’m gonna stay awhile with my girl.”

Geri sat down, grabbed the bottle of wine from Mel’s hand and poured herself a glass.

“…What? No, no, I’ll call myself a cab. It’s alright. Talk to you soon, bye.” Melanie pressed the ‘end-call’ button, put the phone on the counter and picked up her glass.

“Well?” Geri asked after a moment.

“Well, what?”

“What do you think?” She meant the reunion plans. Not a lot of discussion had occurred because everybody had gotten preoccupied with taking group shots. And Mel B had spent the better part of an hour silently fuming. But there were plans, nothing concrete.

“It’s gonna happen,” Melanie said, tossing back her drink.

“You always say that,” Geri half-complained. There was a pause, and then she nearly keeled over in her seat as Melanie gave her shoulder a hard shove. Her head snapped towards Mel only to see the devilish glint in the dark eyes of the woman. With a smirk, she raised her arm to shove Mel back in retaliation but the latter swiftly moved away, grinning.

“Everybody’s onboard, even Vic, so I don’t see why it’s not gonna happen,” Melanie said later, a safe distance away from across the table.

“And we have Si.” 

“And we have Si,” Melanie echoed.

Simon Fuller, their on-off manager. He managed them when they were just starting out. He also managed them in 2007 for their first reunion tour. Now, he was back again to manage this second reunion ten years hence. Si was managing Victoria and David, too. Busy man.

“I take it you’re not pissed off at me anymore?” Geri ventured, tracing a finger over her glass.

“What am I, wood?” Melanie quipped.

Geri stared at her.

“I’m joking.” And she laughed for effect.

Geri understood that Mel had been miffed that the meeting had to be transferred to her house, of all places. With Melanie’s recent, public and ugly divorce and ensuing custody battle, being suddenly thrust into the cozy home of a happy, perfect family was a bit of a slap in the face. Even if the family only happened to be Geri’s. At least, Christian was not around (he was in Melbourne to prepare for the Australian Grand Prix) to rub in the salt.

Geri could not deny that she had felt put upon earlier when Mel B gave her lip for the idea. She'd only really suggested her own home as a venue, in lieu of the hotel that was previously agreed, because it was the closest one and the only place in London where they could expect some privacy. But she wouldn’t be Mel B if she didn’t go to spare on Geri for not telling her beforehand. And Geri wouldn’t be Geri if she didn’t argue right back.

However, cooler heads had prevailed and Geri remembered that she hadn’t actually seen Mel in a while and was actually quite pleased to be in the same room as her, to touch her, to see her smile and hear her voice (even when it was raised in argument), realizing in that moment that she'd wanted nothing more than to put her arms around her.

Geri had been the first to move in for a hug and Mel had misinterpreted and instinctively, and quite comically, reacted by holding both hands up in self-defense.

“Bloody hell, Melanie,” Geri had exclaimed, arms held up awkwardly.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Melanie had said at the same time.

“I was going in for a hug.”

“Well, I thought... fuck me –"

“I did actually.”

They’d stared at each other then and burst out laughing.

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie B was not the type who talked about her feelings all the time. No, processing emotions was never her forte. Mel B just felt feelings the way they were meant to be felt and made no bones about it. If she was angry with you, you’d know. But talk about how she felt and why? Never. 

The hour passed. They were halfway through the bottle of red without Melanie saying anything other than asking about the kids and how Christian’s team was getting along in Australia. She told Geri about Phoenix being in boarding school, about Angel’s latest antics, about little Madison’s first words – all of which Geri had missed after Mel cut herself off from them.

Geri waited, watching Melanie pace around her brand-new, fitted kitchen. She seemed pensive as she swept her gaze around the room, looking at everything but Geri. A tiny smile curved her lips as she noticed the framed photograph sitting next to a couple of family photos. It was one of the band’s first ever photoshoots – young, open faces pressed close together. The photographer had told them to pretend like the camera wasn’t right in their faces. For some strange coincidence, they‘d all decided to look to their right in perfect synchrony.  

Mel B touched the edge of the frame and stared at the picture wordlessly.

Geri held her breath.

It seemed to take forever, the turning of the knife. Later, Geri would realize that the feeling was agony. She heard her sob once – the sound would stay with her for a long time after that – and then no more.

Melanie straightened, wiped her cheek and walked back to her seat. She grabbed her glass and drank the entire contents. There was a beat, and then quietly, in a voice devoid of inflection, she began to speak. Haltingly at first. She told Geri what happened, what she had done, what she felt she had to do – all the sordid, ugly details that she had been too ashamed to share before.

The media had gotten a hold of most of it. The press had plastered it all over the news with gleeful abandon, and Geri and the rest of the group had had to watch and read, horrified and devastated at the same time. They’d always known to a certain extent that the situation was bad, but Melanie had been so closed off, so untouchable in her own private horror, that they did not fully comprehend until that moment when news of Melanie’s suicide attempt had broken to the surface.

And _still_ she had cut them off, choosing instead to display her scars on the telly as if in challenge. _‘Here I am. Come on and have a go at it, then.’_

No calls had been allowed to go through. No sympathy. Many a night during that horrific period, Geri had found herself sitting on the floor of her bathroom, crying noiselessly, the phone pressed tightly to her ear. Sometimes, Emma would call and the two of them would tearfully talk to each other about what to do, whom to turn to, to reach Mel. 

Geri thought about this now as she listened with a knot in her throat.

Melanie continued to speak. There was a kind of hopeless fixity to the way she talked that was terrifying. She spoke of despair, of relentless heartbreak, of complete and utter desolation. When she finished, there was only silence, and then she looked at Geri, revealing a face shattered and naked.

In less than a second, Geri was on her feet, rounding the corner of the table and grabbing the back of Melanie’s neck. There was no hesitation. Feelings were subterranean and they seized this moment to surface. Melanie buried her face in Geri’s chest and wept violently, as if automatically. Her will, her knowledge had nothing to do with it. She simply could not stop.

Later, when the tears had dried and Geri’s throat was raw from crying with her, Melanie told her, in halting words, how Geri thoroughly broke her heart when she left.

It was not the first time Melanie had spoken about that period. She’d spoken about it before in interviews and in her book. Geri, of course, had an idea of what she’d done and how it had affected the people around her, Mel B especially. But she had never heard it from Melanie herself, not before, and not like this.

“For a long, long time, I didn’t understand, and I hated you, Geri,” she said, voice thick and coarse. “I hated you even when I loved you. I’ve never loved anyone like that, and you hurt me.” 

 

Geri didn’t miss the accusation in her tone. Or the fact that they were both clutching at each other like their lives depended on it. Melanie gazed at her without really seeing. Geri looked down, clenched her eyes tight as she worked her jaw.  

 “I didn’t understand. You just wanted it to be over,” Melanie whispered. 

Geri took a deep breath. A thousand words pushed their way up her throat but stuck somewhere between her tongue and the roof of her mouth. None of them was enough.

“…I had to leave. I had to get the kids and I had to leave.” Melanie seemed cold now, impersonal.

The knot in Geri’s throat was strangling her. Her breathing became labored. But she struggled to regain control. Some semblance of it, at the very least. She grabbed a fistful of Melanie’s hair and pressed her lips against hers in an agonized kiss. 

Melanie twitched like someone dead and had just come alive. She sighed. “Still here.” Two words. Deep. Meaningless.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” she whispered brokenly.

“I love you,” Melanie said.

“I love you. Are you going to be okay?” 

The flicker of a lie passed over Melanie’s face but it disappeared quickly. Instead, she forced a laugh, saying, “I don’t know. I think so. You know what they say….” She drifted off, frowning. “Hell, I don’t bloody know what they say.”

Geri half-sobbed, half-laughed. “Nor do I.”


	4. Oxford Lights

It was 3:00 a.m. in L.A. and the Spice Girls had just arrived at their swanky hotel where a slight mess up with their bookings meant they had to camp at the reception area near the bar while their management sorted out their rooms. Melanie C had taken over one of the cushioned seats next to Geri’s and was dozing while Victoria went to freshen up in the ladies’ room.

Geri heard the snickers and giggles coming from the next couch. She looked up from her copy of Irvine Welsh’s _Trainspotting_ and glanced over in the direction of the noise. All she saw at first was Melanie B’s big hair next to Emma’s baby blonde pigtails.

Mel B was holding the younger girl down, telling her to hold still while the latter giggled uncontrollably. To celebrate the release of their first single, _‘Wannabe,’_ Mel B had gotten a new piercing on her tongue and had apparently decided to use Emma as her guinea pig for snogging with this new accessory. The two were starting to attract a few curious glances from other late-arriving guests.

Geri went back to reading. A few minutes passed before her book was rudely snatched out of her hands.

“Right. What’s this then?” Mel B declared, standing over her. She glanced at the front cover once before tossing it behind her to a red-faced Emma who laughed and tried to catch it. “Your turn, Geri,” Mel said ominously.

“Oi, come on now, give it back,” Geri protested.

“Not until you let me stick me tongue down your throat.” Mel B had that look in her face. It would be pointless to argue.

“Fine! Just one snog then.” Geri held up a finger for emphasis, adding cheekily, “And don’t you go blamin’ me if you like it.”

Melanie only slapped Geri’s hand away with a grin as she straddled her lap. Despite herself, Geri started sniggering when Melanie’s face loomed close to hers.

“Bunton, come and have a look then,” Melanie said to Emma without taking her eyes off Geri. “This is how Geri likes to be snogged.”

Geri felt a slight stir of irritation at the arrogance of the delivery. True, she and Mel had gotten off with each other before but no one needed to know that. They had an agreement.

To her right, Geri could see and hear a giggling Emma get up and walk over to them, presumably to get a closer look at the action. Then Geri didn’t notice anything else but the soft, full lips on her own.  Melanie had this way of kissing that brooked no argument. Automatically, Geri parted her lips and she could feel Melanie smile against her mouth as she slipped her tongue and slid it against Geri’s. The sensation of the metal bar added a curious flavor to the mix, and Geri was still trying to decide if she liked _that_ or not when Victoria’s annoyed voice reached her ears.

“Bollocks. Can you two stop being lesbians for a minute? Our rooms are ready.”

Melanie broke the kiss, leaping up from Geri’s lap and shouting, “I bagsy the queen bed!”

Geri took a second to recover and then she, too, was yelling even more loudly, “Bagsy the second queen bed!”

“Oi, put a sock in it, we’ve all got queen beds!”

Mel B tried practicing her tongue piercing on Emma at least one more time that week before giving up because the girl just wouldn’t stop giggling. Never-been-kissed Melanie C was useless as a barometer and Vicky, while experienced, didn’t like Mel B’s tendency to steal kisses at the most inconvenient times. Mel B demanding tonsil tennis while Vic’s mouth was full of food was where Posh Spice drew the line.

And so, it came down to Geri.

“Geri, there’s a new trick I wanna try,” Melanie would announce, plopping in front of Geri and demanding her complete attention.

By then, Geri had already decided that she liked Mel B’s accessory. She said so but it did not in any way put a stop to Mel B’s newest obsession. Whenever they were relatively alone, Mel B would come up to her and insist on a snog or two then ask Geri point-blank which trick she liked best and if she wanted to keep at it for a while.

They were in the Mojave Desert and had just finished shooting for the day. It was Geri’s idea to take one of the crew’s car and drive down to see the sunset. It was Mel B’s idea to strip off their clothes and run around naked in the sand. Geri kept her boots on because she was worried about scorpions and snakes. Mel B chose to be brave. She stomped and kicked the sand around, her laughter infectious.

Later, they lay down together on the hood of the car, looking up at the sky full of stars. Geri was talking her head off as usual about her ideas for songs mostly, when Melanie raised herself up and gave her that look.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mel,” Geri gasped, fingers clutched at the thick curly hair hovering above her. 

The taller girl was kissing the underside of her jaw and flitting her tongue along the side of her neck. This wasn’t their usual snogging. It didn’t seem like Melanie was playing around, trying out her tongue piercing on a friend. This felt new and the sensations it evoked made Geri feel nervous and turned on at the same time.

“M-Melanie, please,” she said, embarrassed. They’d never taken it this far before.

“What?” It wasn’t a real question. Melanie didn’t even wait for a response and just dipped her lips on the base of Geri’s throat.

Geri shivered. The hand that had been clutching Melanie’s hair dropped to her shoulder. Geri discovered that her skin was soft, so soft, though the muscles underneath were toned, and Geri couldn’t stop her hands from roaming.

“You like that?” Again, it wasn’t a question.

Mel shifted and was now lying half on top of Geri, who was becoming very aware that they were both still naked. The brush of Mel’s warm, supple skin against her own was enough to make Geri moan. In an instant, Mel’s hand was in her hair, rough and possessive as she dragged Geri’s head back for a consuming kiss.

Geri nearly lost it, but the knowledge of light coming soon and of being discovered like that – on the hood of a crew member’s car no less – pulled her back to her senses, and she squirmed away from Melanie, falling off the car in the process.

After a moment, laughter erupted from the top of the hood and Melanie’s poofy head appeared above her. “Are you alright, love?” Her tone was both concerned and amused.

Geri just lay there on the sand, naked except for buffalo boots, next to a blue pick-up in the middle of the Mojave Desert in California. And the sky was beginning to turn a dark gray with shades of blue.

It was dawn.

 

* * *

 

 

The next several weeks was so hectic, the girls barely had any downtime. In a party after switching on the Christmas lights at Oxford Street, they all got drunk and horsed around. With them were their publicist and a couple of journos who were there to attempt to get a scandalous story for print the next day. Their management soon came to collect them and piled them all into a limo.

Back in their hotel, adrenaline kept Geri up. She decided to take a shower.  She had just finished washing her hair and was sitting on the edge of the bed, drying it, when Melanie burst in through the door of their adjoining rooms.

“Geri, I just learned a new technique. Come and have a go with me.” Mel B jumped on the bed and grabbed Geri by the shoulders. 

It felt like forever since Mel B had last shown any interest in this, Geri was taken by surprise. “You’re smashed,” she only said even as Melanie B was maneuvering to get their faces together.

“So?” Mel shrugged out of her robe to reveal she was naked underneath. “You’re properly hammered. You don’t hear me complaining about it.”

The absolute ridiculousness of that comment was enough to make Geri laugh. But Melanie was having none of it as she took the opportunity to slant her mouth over Geri’s, her pierced tongue, hard and probing against hers.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the passion that Mel wielded whenever the mood struck, or maybe it was their previous aborted encounter, but Geri’s body reacted with electricity. She welcomed the assault, lips parting, tongue teasing until both their breaths were short and shallow. The need started out as a warmth in her stomach, then spread all over, turning into a fire. Geri couldn’t help but run her hands over the dips and swells of Mel’s body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Her mouth still locked to Geri’s, Melanie pushed her on the bed and slipped a thigh between her legs, settling right against her core.

“H-haa!” Geri broke the kiss and let out a puff of air, stirring the hair around Mel’s temple. Everything was moving too fast. She grabbed Mel’s hip with one hand while the other clutched at her shoulder helplessly. Melanie was barely moving but just the touch of that smooth, muscled thigh against her was driving her insane.

Keeping a steady pressure between Geri’s legs, Melanie continued to lazily, determinedly seduce Geri with her mouth. Lips brushing at the delicate bones fanning just above Geri’s chest, smoldering eyes meeting Geri’s darkened stare.

“Fuck, Mel,” Geri whispered huskily.

“I intend to,” Melanie promised, parting Geri’s robe at the center. She tilted her head to a new angle and her lips skimmed along her skin, traveling to the valley between her breasts. When the same mouth moved teasingly close to one hardened peak without, however, touching it, Geri was almost whimpering.

Somewhere, in the far recesses of her mind, Geri thought that this was probably a mistake. That sex with your bandmate is the recipe for disaster. In fact, it was the tried and tested formula for a band breakup. But Melanie was lightly scratching the underside of her breast and Geri flew with the sensations. When Melanie finally caught one taut nipple between her teeth and drew it into her mouth, she groaned and let her have her way. Her hips rose of their own accord, seeking more contact, finding it in the sharp angle of Mel’s pelvis. She gave a soft moan when she felt how hot Melanie was and her hips started a slow roll against her.

Melanie moved up and slashed her lips to Geri’s ear, tracing the auricle with her tongue before settling to nip at the sensitive spot just below the cup. Her other arm that wasn’t supporting her weight reached down to fan over Geri’s undulating hips, moving on to the apex of her thighs.

Geri was unable to stop, even if she wanted to. Mel’s fingers both relieved and stoked the physical ache of her longing.

“God, Geri,” Melanie whispered into her ear. “I love how you feel.”

Geri was not even listening. She was lost in the sensation of two fingers slipping between her folds, moving back and forth. They dipped low into the source of wetness only to slide back up to circle the tight bundle of nerves, again avoiding direct contact, making Geri tremble with passion. Her nails buried into the skin around Mel’s hips, making faint, half-moon marks and still the teasing continued.

Melanie was building up her own steady rhythm against Geri’s thigh in time with her fingers. Her eyelids shuttered close and Geri leaned forward a little, burying her hands in the rich, brown tresses as her mouth snagged Mel’s lips. The kiss was ravaging, increasing in intensity as Melanie finally caught her clit in a tight, hard circle.

Geri shot straight up, almost throwing Melanie off. The abruptness of it forced them to break the kiss but not their rhythm. Mel moaned, pressing her forehead against Geri’s as she continued to rock. Her deep, frantic breaths fanned against the surface of Geri’s heated skin. Her fingers were a source of never-ending delight until finally exploding into white-hot pleasure that spread from her core through her entire being. Above her, she saw Melanie’s golden, brown eyes stare dazedly at her before she tensed, mouth open in a wordless, soundless cry.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Danielle came to Mel B’s hotel room but couldn’t find her sister. Puzzled, she noticed that the door to the adjoining room was slightly open. She walked in and saw Mel and Geri, limbs tangled together in sleep. It looked innocent-enough – Mel and Geri often slept like that whenever Geri had a sleepover at their house in Leeds. But when Danielle stepped closer, she saw the robes haphazardly thrown on the floor and pieced it together that they were, in fact, naked under the sheets. Danielle felt all the blood rush to her face. At that moment, Geri stirred and murmured something, causing Melanie to draw her closer and nuzzle her nape.

“Oh my god.”

Geri’s eyes shot open. The first thing that registered was warm and soft Melanie pressed against her back as memories of last night flooded in. And then Danielle – sweet, bubbly Danielle who used to follow Mel around, sneaking into dance bars with Geri at weekends – standing there, face almost comical in its shock.

“Dani,” Geri called.

Her voice woke Melanie up. “Hm, what, baby?”

Geri ignored her.

Melanie raised her head and saw her sister. “Danielle, what are you doing here?”

Danielle looked at her, then Geri, and fled the room.


	5. Gran Canaria Pt 1

The call came in around nine, and Melanie was almost finished with her full English breakfast. Across the table from her, Geri sat with absolute self-control, her plate untouched. The large sunglasses she was wearing hid half of her pretty face but not the faint grimace of disgust from her expression. She’d already stated her case earlier: How could anyone eat all that food after last night’s debauched drinking session? To which, Mel only replied with characteristic conceit, “You can call me ‘Mel the Ox’ from now on.”

It was New Year’s Day. Last night, they had appeared on the BBC’s End of Year show where they performed ‘Wannabe’ to millions of viewers. It was a fantastic way to end a fantastic year. Needless to say, the after-party was wild. Mel couldn’t even remember half of what she said or did, only that towards the end it became quite rowdy. Her and Geri really worked that room.

Regret only came in the morning. For Geri, at least. She always had the worst hangovers while Mel just bounced back from benders like nothing happened. And she could still eat with her usual large appetite even as Geri sat there, trying not to hurl. The rest of the girls were not doing so well either. Even Victoria, who was a lightweight anyway, was wearing dark sunglasses, not because it was fashion, but in order to cover her bleary eyes.

So, this was the mood that morning when the girls had their last meeting with management before they were allowed to take a short break for the holidays. Simon instructed them to return before the second week of January 1997 to start the next round of promotions. A collective sigh and faint grumblings later, they all piled inside the elevator on their way back to their rooms.

“Geri, come and look at this,” Melanie said about an hour later, holding a magazine with a detachable travel brochure inside. She walked into Geri’s room but couldn’t find her flame-haired dynamo. Her luggage was scattered about on the floor though. Then she heard retching sounds coming from the loo. It went on for a long minute. The sound of the toilet being flushed followed by water running as the faucet was turned on. Seconds later, Geri stepped out of the bathroom.

“Are you all sorted out?” Mel asked with some impatience. She noticed that Geri looked a bit pale in the cheeks and a bit red in the eyes but she chucked it all off to the hangover. Because otherwise, Geri looked fitty as always.

“Yeah, just feeling a bit off-colour. What’re you on about?”

Mel showed her the magazine.

Geri glanced at it, then looked at Mel with eyebrows raised, a faint smirk curving her lips. “Gran Canaria?” 

Mel grinned and Geri started to chuckle. “Come on,” Mel urged. “I need some time-off and I need you with me.”

“My Spanish isn’t even that good,” Geri muttered, leafing through the brochure.

“Your Spanish is shite,” Mel pointed out.

“And we don’t have a hotel,” Geri continued as though she never said anything.

“As long as you know how to ask where the pub is, we’ll Thelma and Louise our way for the next couple of weeks.”

Geri gave a thrilled laugh, remembering. “Just you and me?”

“Of course,” Mel said like it wasn’t even a question worth considering.

Melanie had never been one given to introspective thoughts. She did as she pleased and liked what she liked. Right now, what she liked was Geri. And she meant to have her to herself on this short break before the Spice Girls’ frenetic schedule started all over again, all over the world.

Mel’s family raised no objection nor asked any question when Mel made the announcement. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time the two spent holidays together. Mel suspected her mum knew about her and Geri. If Andrea didn’t know before, Danielle surely must have blabbed about what she saw that one morning.

Geri’s family was a different story. It was no secret that Anna Maria didn’t take to Melanie. Come to think of it, she didn’t like any of the other girls either. But Mel B in particular…. Geri thought it was because Mel encouraged Geri’s wild, reckless side and it made her mum, a traditionalist, uncomfortable. Mel thought otherwise. She’d seen enough of how people reacted to the color of her skin to know. She just did not have the heart to tell Geri that, not when Geri worked so hard to get back in her mum’s good graces. Mel decided to just avoid Ana Maria all together, have Geri deal with the issue and wait for Geri to come to her.

True to form, Geri came. Melanie couldn’t hide her happiness. She gathered the smaller girl in her arms and lifted, prompting Geri to wrap her legs around her waist. This made Melanie laugh hysterically, nearly dropping her. “Geri, you bloody nutter!" 

“I had to come. I can’t let you have all the fun to yourself.”

Melanie gazed into her eyes and saw the honest emotions in the blue depths. Her heart swelled. Words always failed Melanie whenever she tried to describe what she had with Geri. More than a friendship or a fancy, it was something different, special. It was a bond; one that, from a casual chat over a brief car ride from Danceworks Studio to the train station, had Melanie picturing the two of them, all gray-haired and wrinkled, living in a wee hut by the beach, watching talent shows on the telly and bickering like fishwives over whose turn it was to cook supper.

“Oh, wow,” Geri said, dropping her beach hat in the middle of the bed and striding towards the window where the crystal blue ocean dominated the view.

Because everything was fully booked for the season, Mel couldn’t get any of the luxury penthouse suites in her chosen hotel. She had to make do with one of the smaller apartments for which she was given an option between a pool-side and seaside view. She chose an ocean view and was excited to learn that the room had a balcony overlooking a cliff by the sea. But after months of being used to bigger, better accommodations, when Mel finally got there, the room seemed cramped. Even the marbled floor failed to impress and the bed was rather small for a queen-size and not very comfortable. However, Mel agreed with Geri that the view was breathtaking.

The bellhop dropped Geri’s luggage near the door and said a smattering of Spanish, cueing Melanie to hand him a tip. Then, after he left, Melanie joined Geri by the window, bumping her shoulder as she did. 

Geri turned to her, beaming and bumping her shoulder right back. “I can already tell. This is going to be brilliant.”

The first thing they did was to head down to the sea for a swim. The water was cool and clear, liquid glass through which they could skim and watch the life around them. Below, the coral glowed like a forest in autumn – gold, orange, scarlet and wispy fans of deep purple waving in the current. Fishes boasting neon plumage darted in and out as they kicked their way further off the shore. Signals between them were a touch of the arm and hand gestures. It seemed to be enough that they understood each other, and that the day was theirs.

Before meeting Geri, Melanie was used to doing things alone. Sure, she had friends and acquaintances for the important stuff, but for sharing small pleasures with, she had mostly herself for company. So, until Geri came along, Melanie had traveled to obscure places, laughed at the meanest jokes, dreamed the most outrageous dreams – alone. It always surprised Melanie how fast their friendship formed, how deep. There were no reservations. She could be completely herself with Geri, and Geri with her.

Geri surfaced, sputtering and balancing one flipper precariously on a rock. Water poured off her hair, turned a deep auburn from the wet, her normally pale skin gleaming bright and jewel-like. She pushed her mask back on her head and wiped the water from her face. Mel could barely take her eyes off her (she was dazzling) until she noticed that Geri was looking unusually red.

“Bloody hell, Geri, did you forget to put suntan on?” Mel asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“You look properly cooked!”

Geri glanced at her shoulders and arms. “It does sting a bit.”

“Christ. Come on, let’s get you out of the sun.”

They went back to the beach, lying in loungers under the shade of gigantic umbrellas. They drank tart, icy margaritas and listened to the waves and the faint sound of Christmas carols played by canary musicians. With appetite sharpened by sun and water, Mel dug into _papas arrugadas_ , a traditional boiled potato dish smothered in a spicy sauce of local pepper varieties, vinegar, cumin and garlic, while Geri smoked a hamlet. Later, with the afternoon winding lazily ahead of them, they rented a bubble car. It was painted a hideous shade of purple and featured a peel-off top. Needless to say, Geri loved the ugly thing and named it “Herb” for a lark. The two of them drove around the island, taking a narrow dirt road on a whim. 

Geri’s driving hadn’t improved at all since the days when she used to pile them all inside her little green Fiat Uno and drove to the houses of songwriters and music producers. Watching her as she concentrated on the road ahead, Melanie only snorted as Geri still ended up driving over pothole after pothole. While the tiny car bucked and shimmied, Geri cursed, laughing.

The road took them to the north point where a lighthouse stood. At the base lived a family of seven with scruffy hens kept inside pens made of barbed wires and coconut posts. A beautiful-looking goat stared at them, chewing on some leaves, as they approached. On the front wall of the house a sign told them that there were cold drinks for sale inside at double the price they would pay in town. 

Armed with two bottles of beer, Mel and Geri sat on the humps of empty coconut shells and watched the spray spume. The water was very rough here so that the waves slapped the shore and geysered where time and tide cut channels. The silence fell over them like a warm duvet. Melanie had never felt more relaxed or free than at that moment, sitting there with her knee and shoulder pressed against Geri’s, her hair tickling her face, her heart ebbing and flowing with the tide.

“Let’s go skinny-dipping.” Geri’s husky voice broke through the tranquil scene.

“What?”

“Come on.” Geri ran down a narrow foot path leading to the beach below where she stripped off her sandals.

“Are you insane?” Mel hissed after her. “The family will see us!”

But Geri was already peeling off her top, grinning at her. She did a little shimmy as she pulled down her denim shorts. Mel stared at her, amused and challenged despite herself. Her eyes took in the gorgeous body that was suddenly bared right in front of her.

“Last one in the water buys dinner.” Geri tossed off her bra and pants and streaked to the shore.

“You goddamn lunatic!” Mel yelled before finally, reluctantly taking off all her clothes and splashing into the water with her.


	6. Gran Canaria Pt 2

“You know what that reminds me of?” Geri said to Mel inside their cramped bubble car.

It was evening by the time they made it back from dinner in the island’s capital, Las Palmas. In the inky blackness of the night, their hotel in front of them stood large and massive, carved out of a mountain of volcanic rocks. The windows were all lit up, bright and yellow, creating sharp-angled shadows that flickered and garnished the columns. 

“What?” Melanie asked.

Geri turned to her with a grin. “Like Frankenstein’s castle.”

“Ooooh.”

Geri snickered as she parked the car. It was not even ten o’ clock yet but the hotel lobby was quite deserted. Mel figured most of the guests were probably still in Las Palmas for dinner and for the island’s famous nightlife. Mel had initially wanted to stay out but Geri had told her something monumental.

 

* * *

 

 

It happened over dinner. Mel had lost the bet and had to buy dinner at a small corner restaurant that Geri picked after a conversation with a local. The restaurant was a bit hidden and, because of that, not many tourists knew about the place. It was a good find though as the moment they stepped in, it felt like they were transported back in time to old Spain. The bar was actually a converted old shop with all the original furniture, scales and cupboards. The food was mostly local Canarian dishes and the clientele, cheery, old gentlemen locals with Canarian bellies. Geri ordered them wine in her badly accented Spanish and picked seafood from the menu.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Melanie asked, noticing Geri’s untouched plate.

Geri just shrugged as she reached for more wine. “Not really hungry.”

“Then why’d you bloody order all this food then?”

There were loads more dishes on their table that Melanie hadn’t even begun to touch. She had a huge appetite, granted, but this was too much.

Geri was grinning. “’Coz you’re paying.” Mel glared at her, only causing her to laugh. Then she sobered up and gave a little shrug. “I thought I could eat.”

Mel had no idea what she was talking about and thought it was just Geri being bonkers as usual. “Well, I’m so getting you back for this,” she said, digging into her calamari.

Actually, Mel didn’t mind. The food was great, the wine was superb and the atmosphere was like something straight out of a dream fantasy. Geri sat across from her in her white shirt with the two top buttons undone to show off her cleavage, freckles thrown in sharp relief, and red hair showing just a bit of auburn at the roots. She was humming along to the Spanish song on the radio, sipping wine and glancing at Melanie from time to time. Each time she looked her way, Mel felt her heart pound. To Melanie, Geri was the epitome of everything bright and passionate, an alluring creature full of dreams and ambition, that it never occurred to her something might be troubling her.

“Sometimes, I can’t keep food down,” Geri confessed to her that night.

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie found herself waking up first one morning. She felt light-headed and out of sorts as she blinked against the harsh light filtering in through the curtains. In her arms, she felt the familiar, warm body pressed against her chest. A sense of contentment filled Mel as she raised her head and watched Geri sleep soundly. After a while, she couldn’t help drawing the sheet down, baring Geri’s shoulder so she could press her lips on the sun-kissed skin.

Geri stirred. She stretched and curled her back against Melanie, waking up slowly. Melanie smiled down at the sweetest blue eyes blinking up at her. She brushed away her mussed red hair from her face.

“Good morning, baby,” Mel greeted, kissing Geri’s cheek. “Did you know you drool a little bit when you sleep?”

“Oh, shut it.” Smirking faintly, Geri turned over to face Melanie. She took in her countenance and what she saw must have pleased because she leaned forward to kiss Mel back on the cheek. 

Mel only had to turn slightly. The kiss was nothing more than soft pecks, a fluttering and brushing of lips as gentle as the lapping of waves on the shore. Mel pressed her brow to Geri’s and smiled against her lips. There were no words for this. Just an inundation of feelings that rose and fell with each breath they took. 

Later at breakfast, Mel noticed that Geri finally ate something – a few breakfast scones which she downed with coffee. And Mel was so pleased she immediately started shoveling some of her own food into Geri’s plate, causing the other to laugh and slap her wrist. She didn’t understand but the vulnerability that Geri showed to her made her feel protective. 

“You’re lovely,” Mel whispered. They were back in their room, after deciding to forego a trip to see the sand dunes and instead have a lazy morning in bed. Not really talking, they’d been softly enjoying each other’s company, exchanging brief kisses and touches here and there. Mel was stroking Geri’s cheek with her thumb, the rest of her fingers buried in her hair. 

Geri’s eyelids fluttered close. “Mel,” she sighed her name.

Mel understood. Desire coiled in the pit of her stomach, growing steadily tighter. She run her hand lightly along her side, scratching the bit of skin exposed between her tank top and shorts, before sliding under her shirt. Her palm traced the hard plane of her stomach, discovering the delicate landscape of her ribcage, the firm roundness of her breasts with the hard peaks at the center. Mel swooped down and captured Geri’s mouth, swiping her tongue over her bottom lip. She felt Geri’s hand slide around her waist and caress the small of her back, the gentle press of her thigh against her hip as she brought their bodies closer. 

“Touch me,” Mel urged.

Geri’s need was palpable. Mel felt her own lust surge and she had to fight to keep from just taking her. Geri slipped her hand between their bodies and cupped Mel’s breast through her shirt, thumb twirling over her nipple, lighting up tiny licks of fire inside Mel.

“Take this bloody thing off,” Geri murmured, voice low and husky.

With an impatient grunt, Mel rose to her knees and treated Geri to the sight of her peeling off her shirt. Then she dropped a kiss on her throat, feeling Geri’s warm breath on her skin. She got Geri to take off her top and began a deliberate trail down her body, worshipping her breasts with her mouth while her hand slipped and tugged at her waistband. Her hips rose, pressing forward, and Mel didn’t make her wait long before she hooked her fingers in the elastic and slide the last article of clothing down her legs. Mel tossed her clothes to the floor and turned to face Geri, their chests both rising and falling heavily as they made eye contact.

They both knew this was different from last time. Between then and now something happened, an unfolding of feelings, unspoken as of yet, but there nonetheless. Because when Melanie thought Geri looked lovely, she wasn’t just talking about how she looked. She used her hands to slowly spread Geri’s thighs open. She held her gaze as she leisurely, deliberately lowered her mouth. As soon as Geri realized what she was doing, she gasped and grabbed a clump of Mel’s hair, but she didn’t push her away, merely held on as Mel kissed her there in the center of her.

It was the most intimate thing Mel had ever done with a woman. Geri made her feel like her chest might burst, as though she’d been dancing for too long. Her scent engulfed her senses, her taste warm against her tongue. Geri moaned, back arching and Mel cupped her hips, holding her close as her gentle kiss became firm, her tongue reaching out and stroking tentatively, then with more pressure. It was like dancing with music that was timeless. Everything fading into the background but the sound of her gasps, the sensual brush of her thighs along the side of her face. Geri was sobbing, biting down on the back of one hand, the other grasping Mel’s hair tightly as her hips rolled helplessly in time with Mel’s pace. Mel wanted to savor the moment even as she squirmed from her own arousal, but Geri was too hot, too wet and felt too good, she couldn’t stop, and Geri came hard, panting and gasping her name.

Mel cradled Geri gently with her hand as she rested her head on top of her thigh. After a moment, Geri’s fingers on her hair flexed and Mel felt herself being tugged up. She climbed up her body and saw her face, tear-streaked and completely devastated. Mel started to ask but Geri only shook her head and held her jaws with both hands, drawing her down for a fervent kiss.


	7. Hospital

It was like 2014 again and getting that terrible call from Mel’s driver.  Geri tried not to panic as she dialed the number one more time. On the fifth try, somebody finally answered. But the voice on the other line was male and American.

“Geri, this is Gary. Mel can’t take calls right now.”

Gary, the party guy who was all over Mel’s Instagram account. That Gary. Why was he fielding calls for Mel? She had a publicist for that. “I heard what happened,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm but it came off a bit clipped. “I just want to know if she’s alright. Is there anybody there I can speak with? A doctor or a nurse?”

There was a slight commotion and then dead air, before another voice came on the line. Geri recognized the voice of Sam, Mel’s friend in whose house Mel was hanging out the night the accident happened. “Geri,” she said, sounding exhausted and a bit harassed.

Geri could imagine the amount of calls Sam must have received by then, but she was relieved to hear her voice nonetheless. She clutched the phone tighter to her ear. “Sam, how is she?”

“She’s alright. She’s sleeping. They have her on sedatives.”

“What happened?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Sam said with the tone of someone who had probably repeated the same line a hundred times. “It was a freak accident. One minute we were talking and laughing and the next she was falling off the stairs. I tried to grab her but I couldn’t get to her fast enough.”

“Was she…?” Geri couldn’t bear to say it. Even thinking about it was terrible and left a bitter taste in her mouth, but the thought was lodged in the back of her mind and she had to ask.

Unsurprisingly Sam knew what she was talking about and said, “No, no, she wasn’t. I promise you. I was watching her the whole time.” 

It was hours later that Geri learned the extent of Mel’s injuries. By then, their publicist had already put in the machinery to diffuse the possible PR backlash this would cause. They made sure that Mel had tests and that the results were clean. Then they decided that they all had to present a united front. So, though the girls had each intended to see Mel B in the hospital, their visiting hours were arranged to coincide with each other’s. The rest happened as expected. Mel shared a boomerang video of the four of them on her social media accounts, and the press lapped it all up.

 

* * *

 

 

When the need for the bathroom became unbearable, Melanie opened her eyes and admitted that she was conscious. Geri sat up straight instantly. She had been lounging on the chair beside her bed, reading. The other girls had left hours ago and Mel’s people had gone to take a break.

“How do you feel?” Her voice sounded more throaty than usual from non-use.

“Mashed.”

“Painkillers. It’ll wear off in a couple of hours.” Her eyes looked huge against her pale face.

Melanie looked around her. The room where they moved her to was large and rather well-furnished, finely paneled. The bed, huge. A 50” flat-screen set was installed on the facing wall and wide windows provided a nice, panoramic view of the city from several stories up. Only the best for Melanie Brown. 

She tried to get up and Geri immediately rose from her chair. She was by her side before Mel could even put one foot down on the floor. 

“Should you be getting up?” She asked, trying to support Mel’s weight.

“I gotta wee,” Mel only answered. 

 “Uhm, bed pan?”

The beginnings of mirth. “Don’t,” Mel warned. Geri was sniggering and she had to suppress a chuckle for fear of busting another rib. “Stop it,” she said.

“Okay,” Geri intoned soberly, taking a deep breath. “Just put your arms around me then so you don’t fall.”

With some awkward maneuvering they made it to the bathroom. And then it was another debate whether Geri should get inside with Melanie, who was adamant that she should stay out. “I don’t need you to bloody hold my hand while I go wee, Geri.” 

“Fine but I wanna watch.” A second passed before the penny dropped. “I mean, I’ll be just outside so don’t close the door completely.”

“You’re killing me, Geri.” 

The conversation had to be had. Though Melanie felt exposed and vulnerable, this was Geri. She’d already seen her at her worst and at her most down-trodden. Amazingly, she still stuck around. Mel thought she would never be able to completely wrap her head around that. 

Her book signing in New York had to be cancelled. That needed an explanation. Gary thought posting a photo of Mel goofing around in her purple cast and hospital gown would be funny and at the same time garner sympathy from her followers and the public in general. Mel just wanted to be candid and tell everybody the reason for the cancellation. 

It backfired. 

That was the thing with airing your laundry out in the open, someone will always come along to give it a twist and turn everything on its head. And suddenly, the triumph of Mel’s owning up to her substance and drug abuse in her book became the source of disgusting rumors and speculations about her accident. She didn’t mind that. She’d long accepted that her personal life was media fodder, but her kids were a different story. And somewhere out there, the specter of her ex-husband lurked, waiting for the moment when Mel slipped up and made a mistake like she often did in the past. 

Having her family and friends around made all the difference. The three girls visiting her in the hospital together might have been a PR stunt but the concern and feelings were genuine. She’d never felt closer to them nor more attuned to their dispositions. Mel could tell Emma was the most distraught. Mel C wanted her to focus on healing and letting bygones be bygones; she never judged. Vic called although she didn’t need to as, by that time, everybody knew what happened and Mel was in a stable condition. But she did call and Mel appreciated that.

And then there was Geri.

Actually, Geri was surprisingly harder to decipher. Mel knew she was at least just as distraught as Emma over what happened. Gary told her Geri was the first to call and didn’t stop until he finally had to answer. Sam disclosed that she’d spoken to Geri also, explaining what happened. And Mel’s publicist told her that Geri was the one to broach the subject of pulling up a united front. Perhaps with the exception of Victoria, Geri was probably the most media savvy out of all of them. Back in the day, she always had a concept of how to milk a story for all its worth. But that was then. Nowadays, Mel liked to think she had a handle on things and it was her idea to get Gary to post her drug test results online with the goal of putting out the fire.

“I called Simon and told him about the post,” Geri said. 

Mel glanced at her and noticed, not for the first time, how good she looked. She had on a white sweater and blue jeans, hair falling artlessly down her back. Mel thought that nobody really had any business looking attractive while simultaneously making no apparent effort. Meanwhile, she was sure she looked the worse for wear. 

“What post?” Mel asked, forcing her attention to focus on other things besides the woman beside her and the little pin-pricks of pain she was starting to feel in her ribcage. 

“Gary’s post,” she answered. “I don’t think he should have done that without first consulting you, or at least your publicist. It could well have easily backfired. Good thing Simon still has his old contacts in the Sun. They’re running a story about us visiting you instead. Though how long that will fly is anybody’s guess. They’re going to want to keep talking about this.” 

Mel could have cheerfully strangled her. Instead, she said, “I gave the go-signal.”

“I beg your pardon?” 

“That post. I told Gary to do it.” 

Geri paused. “Now, why would you do that?” 

“Because it’s my bloody life, Geri,” Mel blurted out without thinking. 

Geri looked at her, wordless. 

Mel was starting to get herself worked up. The stresses of the day, plus the painkillers starting to wear off, were getting to her. She was in pain and she was incensed. She glared at Geri. “You don’t understand and you don’t get to tell me what to do. There is an American judge who ordered me to submit myself to alcohol and drug tests every fucking day just to prove to him and the whole bleeding world that I am a worthy mother. What the bloody hell was I supposed to do when the press started printing stories about my ‘overdose?’ Bloody hell, Geri, they said I was going to be the next Whitney! Don’t you fucking understand what that means?”

 

* * *

 

 

Geri flinched as Melanie slammed the bathroom door shut. As before, Geri insisted on helping but Mel was adamant. She wanted to be alone; she needed to be alone. _Fuck, what now._ Geri stood outside, shifting her weight from one leg to the other, raising her hand to knock on the door. But Mel was still fuming, and it was never good to get in her face when she was like that. Best to wait until she calmed down a bit before even attempting to talk. 

Mel said Geri didn’t understand. Maybe she didn’t, but she wanted to. There was a time when she wouldn’t have made any effort at all, when she would’ve just let everything drop without discussing anything and walked away. But after the last time, when Mel told her in so many words how she really felt and what she had gone through and still going through, when Geri thought Mel finally bared her soul to her, she knew better.

When Geri was younger, she thought she’d meet lots of people and bond with them. What she didn’t know was that it wasn’t everyday people met the one. Some go about their whole lives without meeting anybody special; some meet and miss the opportunity. Rarely are they given a second chance. Geri wasn’t about to waste hers.

When Melanie finally stepped out of the bathroom, Geri rose from her seat by the bed and quietly took her arm. Mel didn’t speak but one look from her and Geri understood. She helped her to the bed, tucking her in under the sheets. Then, she returned to her seat, facing the woman whom, once, a long, long time ago, she loved with so much yearning.

 

* * *

 

 

“Let’s talk.”


	8. Girls' POV

It’s funny how people, who spend almost all their time together, never know the exact moment they start to love each other. For the lovers, there is never any clear recollection of when it happened. And when it does, there is usually no ending in sight. Exhilarating – and terrifying- does not even begin to describe that feeling of ceaseless free fall.

 

* * *

 

**They were not easy people**

* * *

 

Victoria was witness to the exhilaration. Ever since the beginning, in fact, in Maidenhead, though what they had then was yet formless, nameless. They had always been so close. But something different had happened during the short break they had just after New Year’s Eve. Victoria picked up on it the moment they entered the conference room for the band’s first business meeting of the year.

Mel B leaned over to Victoria and whispered about Geri, “God, look at how brown she is.”

Victoria snickered. “She looks positively crisp. Where’s she been?”

“Geraldine, Vicky wants to know where you’ve been that you’re so brown.”

Geri looked at her blankly. “What d’you mean where…? You know where I’ve been.”

Mel B just laughed, her humor immediately infecting Geri, much to Victoria’s confusion. Later, she learned Geri and Mel B had spent the break together in Gran Canaria.

 

* * *

 

 

In Prague, Geri and Mel B came home drunk from trying out the local club scene and mistook Emma’s hotel room for theirs. Emma woke up in the middle of the night, shivering. She found her blanket out of reach because Geri and Mel B were wrapped in it as they slept, tangled together, right there in the middle of her bed.

When Emma complained about it later on the plane back to England, the depth of their connection was palpable even as Mel B laughed it off and Geri, red in the face, muttered an apology.

“Who was more plastered last night, you or me?” Emma heard Geri wonder.

“You, if you have to ask.” Mel B reached across the aisle to poke Geri’s ear, who just distractedly swatted her hand away.

“I swear,” Geri started to say then drifted off as she remembered something. When she turned to Mel B, there was a flicker of mischief in her eye. “I hope you enjoyed the bloody show then.”

Mel B laughed uproariously, causing Emma and Victoria to exchange curious looks. “I did,” Mel B declared, adding, “and so did five hotel staff and that lucky Joe Bloggs in the lift!”

 

* * *

 

 

At their stint in Asia, Melanie C had absolutely no clue what was going on when Geri and Mel B went exploring with her, then left and disappeared together. They came back hours later, looking subdued and uncommunicative, giving no explanation whatsoever for their Houdini act.

“Doesn’t she ever fucking shut up?” She only heard Mel B mutter later during an interview as Geri talked for some length about their band and their music. 

However, later in the day, Melanie C observed that Mel B and Geri were seemingly tight again so she never really caught on to the source of their tension, the mirror half of elation, until much later.

 

* * *

 

 

June was when they started filming their movie and also worked on their second album. Geri was on fire, coming up full of ideas for scenes in the movie and their next music video, and writing lines and lines for their songs.

 **The clues were in the words.** They were littered with it – hints, like pieces to a puzzle drawn from a secret base. Now, there were visual cues and verbal signs –  subtle, intimate touches that they weren’t even aware enough to hide; talking like they were the only two people in the room; and being so completely in sync and into each other even some of the people they worked with had to point it out.

A photographer said, “Victoria, could you switch with Geri please. You and Mel B on that side while Geri and Emma can stay here. Melanie, go and squeeze yourself between…. Yes, right there.”

“Come on, now,” an exasperated interviewer for a music magazine said after Geri and Mel B had been talking over each other non-stop. “You need to let the others get a word in. Otherwise, I might have to split the two of you up.”

Stylist A: “Are Geri and Mel B…?”

Stylist B: “What do you mean?”

“I swear I just saw the two of them backstage….”

“Really. What were they doing?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

“Right, what’s going on?” Emma piped up, having found herself overhearing the conversation as she followed them to the dressing room.

 

* * *

 

 

But really there was no time to dwell in anything other than the work. It wasn’t that nobody thought about it; it just never factored in. They’d just broken America. Awards were practically falling in their laps. They were the darlings of their record company.

Their success only meant more opportunities to continue working, promoting, performing. The pressure was enormous and it seemed only to grow larger as they surpassed every expectation. Yet, the demand never seemed to abate.

Some days they felt like they were running on fumes, like they were automatons on overdrive. They were rich beyond their wildest imaginings but nothing belonged to them. Not even each other. Excesses everywhere – joy, excitement, nerves, temper. Lighting fires everywhere, they were burning bright, fast; restraint was an alien word.

They had reached the apotheosis of their dreams. It was only a matter of time before they started free-falling towards the inevitable.

The first major rift occurred during preparation and rehearsals for their first ever live concert. There was no blagging it during a live performance and they could see Geri put in extra hours and extra effort just to keep up. But overwhelming stress kept tempers short and tongues loose.

Unsurprisingly, whatever personal issues Geri and Mel B had simmered to the surface, spilling over into heated arguments and hurtful exchanges. Victoria, Melanie C and Emma, as well as the crew, had to bear witness to the fallout without fully understanding what exactly happened or what was going on.

 

* * *

 

**Sometimes, people fight over things different from what they were really fighting about**

* * *

 

 

At this point in time, the girls’ having some time to themselves was the exception. On one of those rare occasions, Victoria decided to do her laundry. She made her way down the basement of the house they were renting where the washer was located. She found Geri there, dressed in only a bra and underwear, standing over the washer, watching the spinning clothes inside.

Geri glanced at her once as Victoria came in. The smile she put on was tired. Victoria was feeling exhausted as well – the type that made it almost painful to think about the next step, the next plan.

There was hardly any word exchanged. When you’ve spent time with a person long enough, there was no need to fill in the spaces. Victoria quietly sorted her clothes and waited for Geri to finish putting hers in the dryer before taking over the washer.

The silence stretched.

Then, without preamble, Geri turned to her and said in her soft, low voice, “We’ve got to get rid of him.”

Victoria took a long breath. _Yes._

 

* * *

**What followed next was the long unspooling of how fairytales end**

* * *

 

 

Emma was inconsolable. Victoria had the thankless job of rubbing the hyperventilating girl’s back while being on the phone, shouting, “Geri, where the fuck are you?”

Mel B reacted predictably with a “fuck her!” and went off with Melanie C to discuss changes in their routines and line re-distribution. Victoria couldn’t blame her. They had to think on their feet and act quickly. Whatever happened, they had to perform that very same night and continue to perform for the next several nights because quitting was not an option.

Victoria kept calling anyone and everyone who might know something while maintaining a calm façade. The lid on this had to remain tight. Even so, the moment they appeared on stage as a foursome the media sniffed blood. Nobody was shocked really when the next day’s headlines were all about the missing Spice. Suddenly, they were thrust to the center of a media storm. The frenzy was different this time. The winds bit and cut into their skin. But they had to keep a brave front, they had to, even as, in the back of their minds, they were slowly making the devastating realization –

Mel B finally broke on the night of her birthday.

“Where is she?” She asked, standing there, alone, in the middle of a crowded room.

Victoria remembered the scent of red, plum wine, cigarette smoke and silence.

A sob and then someone shrieking, “ _Where the fuck is she?”_

Melanie C ran to Mel B and wrapped her in her arms. Emma stayed in her seat, eyes bright as tears flowed freely. And Victoria felt pieces of herself shatter then.

Two days later, Geri released an official statement through her solicitor that she had left the Spice Girls.

 

* * *

**No, they were not easy people**

* * *

 

Fiji, 1998.

 

_‘You won’t forget me, you know. I was your first girl. You never forget your first.’_

_‘You’re just pissed, Melanie. Have another drink.’_

_‘-and when you go, I’ll give you something to think about. See, I’d have broken your heart so thoroughly there’ll be little left to salvage. You won’t forget me for that either, eh?’_

_'D’you know what? Who’s to say I won’t break your heart first?’_


	9. 3AM Article

After a while, all cities begin to look the same. Carnaby Street, London was not that different from Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica; a pedestrianized street permeated with big name retailers, concept stores, restaurants and cafes. Sure, there were bound to be quirks unique to the location but those were just gloss. Beneath the surface attraction and cultural resources, the common elements tended to merge together.

The only thing that made that year in London different from any other was that Geri Halliwell, who usually never went anywhere without at least one assistant accompanying her, was out alone. She was at an artisan coffee shop, dressed incognito in a t-shirt and jeans combo and a pair of large sunglasses.

Earlier in that week, her latest manager – the third one she’d had since she launched her solo career – received a phone call from the last person she expected to ring.

Melanie Brown had written an autobiography. That was the news. Apparently, there were some legal concerns with the manuscript for Mel’s book. Some inconsistencies with Geri’s published bios that Mel and her lawyer wanted to discuss with Geri and her own solicitor prior to publication. They were requesting a meeting and were sending the manuscript ahead for Geri to go over.

The manuscript arrived by private courier the other day. Geri read the entire thing overnight. That morning, she grabbed her purse and left without telling anyone where she was going. A spur-of-the-moment walkabout, no real plan or destination in mind. She just wanted to get away in order to think.

The coffee shop attracted her because it was tucked in a corner away from the heavy foot traffic. The shopkeeper behind the counter gave the usual greeting when she came in, apparently not recognizing her. Geri ordered a latte and went to sit at a table near the magazine rack.

Her latte arrived soon. Without touching her drink, Geri took out her phone from her purse and stared at it for a long minute.

Geri actually had the number for some time now. She couldn’t remember anymore whom she got it from – probably Vic or Simon. In any case, she got Mel’s number some months ago though she never used it. Oh, there were a thousand reasons to call – to apologize, to talk things over, to reconnect, to reminisce, to put the past behind them. But each time Geri picked up the phone, she lost her nerve.

Above all, she wanted to be friends again. They’d known each other for so long and so deeply, she was beginning to understand she would never connect with anyone quite like she did with Melanie. But where was she supposed to begin?

Unintentionally, the answer stared her right in the face.

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting was to be held in the conference room of the Cliveden House, Bucks. Mel’s manager had booked the room but it was Geri and her set who arrived first.

Geri nervously waited in the lobby, accompanied by her personal assistant and her manager. Her solicitor, Owen Mcleod, arrived a few minutes later and sat down with her, going over again the legal points they’d discussed before in his office. The main concern was clear: Melanie had bared all in her manuscript, including the things Geri chose to gloss over in her own books. Owen explained her rights to respect of private life and their limitations as she is a celebrity, but Geri was too distracted to listen. She kept checking her watch and wondering if Mel would come, and how would she look? how would she sound? how would she react? It had been years and years and years….

A slight commotion outside caught all their attention. Geri looked around and immediately saw Melanie’s familiar lean figure, emerging from a car. She was coolly dressed in a dark blue pantsuit, her hair in the usual blowout style, looking heart-thuddingly beautiful. Spilling out of another car were two suits, whom Geri assumed to be Mel’s legal team. They walked into the lobby and before anybody could react or say anything, Geri was up on her feet and almost sprinting towards Mel, her heart in her throat.

“Oh my god!”

Mel saw her then and something flickered in her eyes; it made Geri hesitate but a second too late. An unknown force was propelling her forward, and she grabbed Mel’s arms when she reached her side, so pleased she was at finally seeing her, not even noticing that Melanie had taken a step back.

“Melanie,” she said breathlessly.

Melanie looked like she had no idea how to react – equal parts disconcerted and equal parts wary. But there were the beginnings of a smile, which soon widened into a full grin as she unconsciously mirrored Geri’s own beaming expression. “Geri,” she said simply.

“You look as gorgeous as ever!”

Mel’s familiar Northern laugh boomed then. “You look good as well. I love the hair!”

Geri laughed and gave her a hug, holding her tightly for a moment, before turning to her companions. “Everyone, come and meet my good friend, Melanie. Isn’t she beautiful?”

Mel was still laughing. “You’re such a nutter, Geri.”

 

* * *

 

After the flurry of that initial meeting, everybody withdrew into the conference room. The lawyers discussed talking points. Geri barely listened to the dull legalese on privacy, publicity and intellectual property as she eyed the condensation on her glass of Pepsi. Across from her sat Melanie, looking cool and business-like once more and nothing like the woman who laughed and smiled with her earlier.

“You understand, we’re here out of courtesy,” Mel’s lawyer was saying. He had a snooty way of talking that got under Geri’s skin but she kept quiet and just half-listened to the actual exchange. “My client feels that she owes candor to Ms. Halliwell prior to releasing this book. Understand that she can and will publish this book with or without your client’s input.”

Owen spoke, “The fact that Ms. Brown feels strongly about having this meeting hints that there are serious issues in the manuscript, matters that your client felt she needed my client to review –”

“Review?” Mel’s lawyer let out a sardonic laugh. Geri looked up at this, starting to feel irritated, not just at him but at the situation – and indirectly at Mel for causing it. “The manuscript is complete and ready to be published,” the lawyer continued. “It’s just a matter of finalizing the release date with the publisher.”

“And yet here we are, Bill,” Owen retorted. “Why is that?”

There was a short silence as the two legal eagles assessed and re-assessed each other. Geri saw that Melanie was starting to get impatient and edgy. She couldn’t even meet Geri’s eyes. This only peeved Geri more as she took this moment to whisper in Owen’s ear.

“As I said –” The lawyer named Bill started to say but was interrupted.

“The fact is,” Owen said as Geri leaned back in her seat, “your client detailed in her book a relationship she had with my client that was never recorded anywhere and bears no resemblance at all to my client’s recollections of their friendship in her memoirs.”

“Bear in mind your client invaded my client’s privacy first when she wrote her books without my client’s prior knowledge or consent.”

“’First’ implies there is a second instance. So, you acknowledge that your client’s manuscript is essentially an invasion of my client’s privacy.”

“That is not what I said. And you know you are mistaken about there being no prior record of the relationship. There is the Jimmy Gulzar documentary.”

“You mean your client’s ex-husband?”

For the first time, Melanie reacted. She let out a frustrated breath, the sound loud enough to cause everybody in the room to turn to her. Geri fully expected her to say something rude and outrageous like she was prone to do when she did not get her own way, but she didn’t. Instead, she stood up, looked straight at Geri and said, “Come with me.”

 

* * *

 

“Geri, I went bloody wrong with the lawyer,” was the first thing Melanie said to her as soon as they were out of the room and out of earshot. Knowing Melanie, that was as close to making an apology as she would get.

“Bugger all,” Geri muttered under her breath. Despite the tension inside that room, she felt her temper start to evaporate the moment they stepped out and wandered onto the library section of the reception area where it was quiet. Melanie’s candor and honesty eased matters as it always did, and really Geri was not up for a fight. Let the lawyers argue until they were blue in the face but she’d just gotten Melanie back. She wanted to work towards, if not a friendship, then an open communication with her.

Geri sat on one of the high chairs next to a globe.

Melanie followed and stood over her. She sighed. “Look, I know you don’t want this to come out –”

“And yet, you wrote it anyway.”

There was a beat, and then Melanie’s quiet voice: “Because it really happened, Geri.”

Geri stared ahead, unseeing. Of course, it did. She remembered everything – the laughter, the tears, the yearning - the overwhelming yearning - and then the bitterness and animosity that hounded them shortly before and after the breakup. There was even a time she thought there would be never getting over all the past hurts, that she would never know a day when she did not feel like her entire world had caved in from right under her. She only had to turn on the telly and watch her sing the songs they’d written together for her heart to break just a little more.

She knew that she had changed, was breaking away more from the pop brand they’d built together, collaborated with other artists, was no longer infatuated with her, but it took seeing her and the girls performing at the Wembley Stadium, for Geri to realize with a force so heavy she felt her breath leave her body, that she -and they- had moved on. She probably hadn’t thought of her in years, Geri had told herself then.

She glanced at Melanie, who was looking at her with bared eyes and Geri could see now how wrong she was. Everything was there, as plain as the words she’d written. Mel had poured all her feelings in those pages, saying on paper what she could never bring herself to say to Geri back then and what Geri was ill-equipped to accept, that what they had was real and true and tangible.

“I’m sorry,” Geri whispered four years too late. The words hardly meant anything now.

Mel nodded in acknowledgment. “I know.” Her smile was serene, untouched as she added, “But you know that you left on my bloody fucking birthday, right?”

Geri felt the blood drain from her face. “I know. I’m so sorry –"

“I’ll toss it,” Mel said suddenly.

“What?”

“The manuscript. I’ll toss it, throw it in the bin.”

Geri realized what she was saying and said the first thing that came to mind, “Don’t be a prat, Melanie.”

Mel pretended to look outraged. “I’m willing to be your dirty little lesbian secret, you bloody thankless git, and you call _me_ a _prat?_ ”

Geri covered her mouth, but then Melanie grinned and started to laugh and she didn’t stop until tears appeared in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

_Do you think you could forgive me?_


	10. Fiji

The girls were exhausted, and it showed. So, Mel came up with the idea of Fiji. Melanie, Vic and Emma demurred, preferring to stay in England to recharge and recuperate. Geri wasn’t up for it either.

“I’m not sure it will be like before,” she bared her reservations (their last argument had been a fierce one) but Mel prevailed upon her with promises of a good time and being on her best behavior. Later, Vic pulled Geri aside and told her in no uncertain terms that they needed to get their shit together before the tour.

The flight from London to Fiji was twenty-three hours and fifty-five minutes. And then it was another thirty minutes by seaplane to get to the remote island resort that Mel had booked for them.

“Oh god, finally! A real, proper bed.” Geri took off her shoes and dropped, face first, on the bed, feeling her body bounce once, twice. A second later, she felt the whole bed undulate as another person joined her.

“Are you lost?”

“Your room is better than mine.”

Without lifting her head, Geri muttered, “Does that mean you’re gonna be squatting here the entire time?” Only to hiss in pain as Mel playfully grabbed a fistful of her hair and tugged.

“Is that an invitation, Geraldine?”

“Do you need one, Brown?”

Mel’s laughter boomed in her ear.

Geri had been prickly towards Mel for the past few months. This, conflated with the general sense of restlessness she’d been feeling lately, sparked arguments that only seemed to grow intense and frequent as rehearsals for the tour began and the start date loomed closer. Geri was determined to keep it all contained. Mel, on the other hand, did whatever she pleased. So, when Mel announced a newfound infatuation for her dancer, Geri had no reason to be upset. Instead, she told herself that their conflict started because Mel couldn’t stop picking on Geri and Geri couldn’t say what or how she really felt.

But now they had to patch things up. Or try to. Easy enough to say.

“I’m so knackered I think I can sleep for a week.”

“Like hell you are. I didn’t come all the way to Fiji just to sleep.”

“Speak for yourself.” Geri had risen and was removing the hibiscus lei that a resort staff member had put around her neck earlier. “I intend to do nothing but eat, drink and sleep. You do whatever the hell you want.”

Mel sat up and bounced off the bed. She stood and pointed at Geri. “You have two hours to sort yourself out,” she said in a domineering tone, “and then I want sex, woman!”

Geri rolled her eyes, not missing the joke proposition but too tired to come up with a smart quip. She knew from experience Mel said things just to be audacious. She also knew that it would only be a matter of minutes before Mel ran out of energy herself.

As it turned out, she was right of course. Jetlag won the day and Mel and Geri actually spent the better part of the morning and afternoon, and even much of the evening, sleeping in their own separate rooms. At around dinner time, Geri woke up, saw that it was dark out and shivered at the cold. She got up and drowsily made her way to Mel’s room, using Mel’s extra keycard to get in.

“Baby,” Mel mumbled groggily as Geri got in the bed. She instinctively turned and pulled Geri to her, nuzzling the top of her head.

“My room is cold,” Geri whispered but Mel made no response. She was dead to the world. Closing her eyes, Geri breathed deeply of her scent and let the gentle rhythm of her breath lull her. No matter how bad things got between them, Mel was always warm and soft like this. It didn’t take long for Geri to fall right back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The sun was high and white when Geri awoke. Her stomach was growling something fierce and when she finally got up and walked outside onto the terrace, she found Melanie sunning herself on a chair by the railings, her curly hair flowing as a gentle tropical breeze blew by. Her body was lush and golden, set off by the two narrow strings of her bikini. Geri had to blink several times to remove the bleariness from her eyes. In front of Melanie was a feast – room service breakfast of toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, tomato and a variety of fruits. Geri felt her mouth water.

“There she is,” Melanie said by way of a greeting. Her voice sounded loud in the pristine quiet of the resort and there was a particular expression on her face that Geri couldn’t quite figure out.

Saying nothing, Geri took her seat and reached for a piece of ripe pawpaw. After a while, she felt the warmth creep up her neck as Mel continued to gaze at her. “What?”

Mel chuckled. “Well, good morning to you, too.”

“I’m starving.”

“I can see that. Have a go then. This is already my second helping.” Mel indicated her half-empty plate.

The food was heavenly. But after the initial pang was satiated, Geri began to leisurely take in more of her surroundings. Their room was beach-facing, set back just a few meters from the shore. The view of the crystal blue ocean and white sand was perfectly framed by rows of coconut trees that provided shade to the day beds arranged right by the water.

“How long have you been up?” Geri said as she paused to light a hamlet. Since Mel didn’t bring up the fact that she slept in her bed last night, she decided to just put it out there and get it out of the way. At the end of the day, they were friends who had slept together before.

“Not long.” Mel sat up and poured coffee.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because you looked so adorable with your little puddle of drool on the pillow.”

Geri groaned in annoyance. “I don’t drool you know.”

Despite herself, Mel made good on her promise to Geri and remained on her best behavior for the next few days. In order to take their minds off the pressures of show business, Mel proposed that they do nothing but bake in the tropical sun, snorkel along the reef in the diamond-pure waters, sleep under a palm tree and maybe do some of the suggested activities written on chalkboard at the resort’s main bure. Geri agreed.

With nothing on their agenda, they did whatever struck their fancy. One day, they frolicked in the water and sunned themselves on the beach. The next, they went on a historic hike and learned hand-line fishing. Other days, they sampled the local brew and drank _kava_ in an elaborate ceremony. In the evening, they dined on either lobster or fish caught and cooked on their request while a local band serenaded the new guests with a traditional welcome song then sang farewell to those leaving. Some nights they danced. It was often midnight by the time they returned to their rooms.

 

* * *

 

The relaxed state of bliss that Geri had attained during this vacation freed her from the concerns of the day. She forgot everything – the pressure, the fights, the petty resentments, the need to be simultaneously noticed and be out of sight. Now, all she could see was Mel in her _sulu_ , sitting on the day bed next to her, looking completely unperturbed as she enjoyed a glass of margarita.

“Tell me something.”

The question was asked because the silence had stretched. Geri stirred from lethargy and recalled the time when they first met George Michael. She told her she couldn’t wait to get rid of the other girls, including even Mel, so she could have some alone time with the man. She marveled at how long ago it seemed and cackled at her naiveté.

“Did you really want to marry him?” Melanie interjected, reaching out to brush strands of hair that fell over Geri’s eyes.

Geri felt her heart flutter and she laughed to release the butterfly that had taken residence inside her chest. “I did.” She really did and she remembered feeling so terribly disappointed to find out that it was a hopeless case.

“Serves you right for being a smarmy git.”

“Shut up. I felt really awful.”

Melanie grinned and patted her head in consolation. Geri just sent her a glare.

“You’ll never forget me, you know,” Mel told her, seemingly without context. She’d been quiet for a while.

Geri gave her a funny look. She wanted to ask where this came from, but Mel continued:

“I was your first girl. You never forget your first.”

Geri chuckled, plucked the tiny umbrella from her drink and twirled it. “You’re just pissed, Melanie. Have another drink.”

Mel pinched her arm.

“Hang on.” Geri frowned, making a delayed realization. “Are you saying you’re special?”

“Of course, I’m special. Who else made you moan and beg for it like I did?”

“Oh my god.” Geri threw the tiny umbrella and hit Mel’s face with it.

Mel swore, giggling and screaming that Geri blinded her. Geri just laughed uncontrollably even as Mel threatened to pour her drink on her in retaliation.

 

* * *

 

 

In the past few days, Geri had managed to downplay the attraction that she always felt. But now there was no ignoring that fluttering in her stomach or the staccato rhythm of her heartbeat every time Mel looked at her in that particular way. Desire was a simple thing. Easy to set aside from all other emotions. Easy to satisfy. Without attachment, it was easy enough to replace. But Geri was aware with a kind of dread that what she felt slipped past friendship and going into something unknown.

She was powerless to stop it.

“I think, after our third album, we should try something new,” Geri said. Feeling undone and reckless, she voiced half-formed ideas borne out of the need to gain some equilibrium.

“Like what?”

“Like, maybe work on our own material.”

“Huh.”

“Do you know what I mean?”

“Geri,” Mel said in a tone that sounded like a warning, “are you talking about a breakup?” She sat up and turned to regard Geri with a studious gaze. “Like the Spice Girls breaking up. It sounds like that’s what you’re talking about.”

“I’m saying we could each explore other things, collaborate with other artists, work on new material.”

“Yeah and we can do all that together. As a band.” There was another long silence before Mel said, “Bloody hell, Geraldine, are you breaking up with us? With _me_?”

Geri made a frustrated sound. “It’s not a breakup. Just…maybe a break. Sort of.”

Mel shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe – _How_ long have you had this idea?”

“Just now, a few months ago, what does it matter?”

“It matters because… you’re saying you wanna fucking leave.”

“I’m not –” Geri took a long breath. “I’m not leaving. That’s not what I’m saying.” She reached for Melanie and tried to pull her in.

“What are you saying then?” Melanie looked genuinely upset.

“I’m saying,” and here Geri paused because her throat had suddenly tightened as a sob threatened to escape, “I’m saying….” _I think something’s happening, with me, and I don’t know how to make it stop._ But she took one look at Mel, saw the anguish barely checked in the brown depths, and decided to hold it in. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”  She shrugged and shook her head.

“You’re bloody bonkers is what you are,” Mel declared finally.

Geri laughed savagely, ignoring the breathless pressure in her chest. “You know I’m a drama queen.”

 

* * *

 

 

But the conversation had rattled Mel. It was obvious in the way she regarded Geri later all evening. It was their last night together and there was a sense of finality in everything that they said and did. Like they knew something they couldn’t yet articulate and that whatever happened tonight, it would be the last time. Their world outside this island was completely different. What they had now couldn’t last out there. For that to happen, it required a lot of things they weren’t yet ready to give.

But there was something else they could give. Desire was easy enough to satiate. That night, Geri satiated hers with Mel, who in turn possessed her. Utterly absorbed, they made love with a kind of desperation, like they wanted to give all of themselves to each other and to put their hearts to death.

In the aftermath, they lay on the bed with the sheets twisted all around them. Geri listened to Mel’s breath, knowing that they would probably never be this close again. In fact, she’d probably grow to hate her. Suddenly seized with a rush of tenderness, Geri pulled her in, wrapping her arms and legs around her. Mel made no sound of protest, simply allowed herself to sink into Geri like she too yearned the same way. 

“Geri,” Mel whispered to her sometime in the night.

Geri was barely awake. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and so she barely heard as Mel continued to fill the spaces between them with a plea and a promise.

“—and when you go, I’ll give you something to think about. I’d have broken your heart so thoroughly there’ll be little left to salvage. You won’t forget me for that either, eh?”

Geri finally stirred and pressed a kiss on Mel’s throat. “D’you know what? Who’s to say I won’t break your heart first?” She whispered back, remembering only the faint choking sound coming from Mel’s chest as she chortled.


	11. 94 Maidenhead

Geri couldn't stop herself from flinching as Mel pressed the ice-pack on the bruise just below her right eye.

Mel glanced at her briefly, then let out a forceful exhale. "You really should've left us well enough alone, Geri."

"I was trying to stop you two from beating each other up!"

"And look what you got for it."

"Oi, Geri, thanks for taking Melanie's fist in the face for me," Geri intoned with dripping sarcasm, only to bite her lip as Mel pressed the ice-pack a little too hard.

"I'm not gonna thank you for being stupid."

"Oh my god," Geri exclaimed. Mel did not look at all sorry for saying that. Feeling spiteful, Geri grabbed the ice-pack from Mel's hand, held it to her black eye herself and turned slightly away. "Remind me not to take your side next time you and Melanie get into fisticuffs."

Mel just looked at her and…chuckled. She actually _chuckled_.

Geri felt her annoyance double. Yes, Mel was right and it was her own fault for getting between two Northern lasses in the middle of a heated argument. She didn't even know what they had been fighting about. Just that their voices had gotten really loud, enough to wake Geri up in the next room. Out of sheer alarm, Geri had gone to check, saw the two Melanies practically circling each other, faces red from shouting (and perhaps alcohol), their hands raised into fists. It had looked to Geri like a proper fight. What was she supposed to do?

Without even thinking, Geri had stepped in and then felt her whole world turn upside down. She thought she'd blacked out for like two minutes because the next thing she knew, she'd been on her back with Mel looming right above her and a chastised-looking Melanie hovering in the background.

Well, that accomplished one thing, at least. It had put a temporary stop to their fight. An uneasy truce was automatically created as Mel assisted Geri back to her room, leaving Melanie to think about what she'd done.

But now there was a new problem, which Mel was quick to point out. "I don't think I should go back in there," she said, referring to the room she shared with Melanie.

"I'd offer you a bed but I'm too annoyed with you," Geri told her bluntly.

"Aww, come on, you know I didn't mean what I said."

"You know you most definitely did."

Mel met Geri's one-eyed glare and started to snigger.

Geri was not amused. She just put down the ice-pack and pointed at her injury wordlessly.

“It’s your own damn fault,” Mel said without an ounce of sympathy.

“Get out.”

Rolling her eyes, Mel held her hands, palms up in supplication, and said in the flattest tone of voice she could muster, "Oi, Geri, thanks for taking Melanie's stupid fist in the stupid face for me. Happy?"

“No,” Geri retorted.

“Fine! But can I sleep here tonight then?”

Geri did not respond right away, contemplating Mel's sincerity, which was nonexistent to begin with. Mel looked shameless but Geri knew that Mel really had no other place to stay apart from the couch downstairs where it got freezing cold since the house had no centralized heating. Vicky and Emma had long ago banned her from entering their room after a fiasco involving bread crumbs and ants in a certain posh girl’s pants. Sighing in defeat, Geri lay herself down on one side of the bed, leaving enough space for another person. "I truly regret this," she muttered, pressing the ice-pack back on her face.

"You are a true friend, Geraldine," Mel said gleefully as she hopped on the bed and got under the sheets with her. After a while, she looked over at Geri who still had her back turned and said, "I mean it, you know."

There was a beat, and Mel could practically hear the gears turning inside Geri’s head. Then, she asked, "Mean what?"

"That you're my true friend." Mel really did mean it, too.

"Oh." A long pause. "Really?" The earnestness in that question was unmistakable.

Mel let out an exasperated sound, which was more like a roar than a groan. Oh, god, she was in for it now.

Geri turned then, smiled at her sweetly and moved to bring Mel in for a mushy hug. “Awww, Brown,” she said even as Mel tried to escape, to no avail. Geri managed to wrap her arms around Mel and gave her a tight one. “You’re my true friend, too.”

“Stop it,” Mel said.

“You’re really very sweet.”

“I am not.”

“You are,” Geri insisted with a soft chuckle, clearly enjoying Mel’s discomfort at the open display of affection.

Mel glared at her but soon felt a smile tug the corners of her lips as Geri continued to beam at her. "You're a nutter, Geri," she only said, finally, reluctantly, returning her embrace.

"Yeah, but I'm your nutter, so there you go."

For the next several days, the two Melanies were not on speaking terms. Needless to say, while the feud between roommates stretched on, Mel continued to room with Geri.

Which was interesting.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Geri muttered under her breath as she pulled out a piece of cloth she had accidentally found under her pillow. Before she could examine it further, it was snatched out of her hands by Melanie who exclaimed that she'd been looking all over for it because she was going to put it in the washer.

"It's my favorite pair of knickers," Mel finished.

"Ew, what the hell is your dirty pair of knickers doing under my pillow?"

Mel only laughed uproariously.

To be fair, Geri's room was always a bit of a mess. But with Mel taking up residence there, it became a veritable jungle with clothes, both clean and used, thrown over nearly every available surface. The dresser was practically invisible under the load of make-up, hair spray and other beauty products. Shoes and socks with pairs permanently missing were strewn all over the floor and all around was general disarray.

"Your room is a pigsty," Vic once said when she happened to pass by while Mel and Geri were arguing by the door over whose turn it was to clean.

The two paused long enough to say in unison: "Shut it, Vicky!"

But it wasn't all arguments between the two of them, because when things got tough, the weekend always came around. While Melanie, Vic and Emma went back to their respective homes, Mel and Geri often stayed to go out clubbing in the evenings. Sometimes, when they didn't have enough money for the cover charge, they hung out at the local pub instead where they abused the jukebox and flirted up a storm with the bartender or some of the regulars. Other times, they stayed in, watching bad television shows while sipping on plonk bought with the last of their month's allocation from the Herberts.

Over time, Melanie and Mel B had resolved whatever issue they had though Mel never moved back to her double bed in her old room and remained a semi-permanent guest in Geri's room.

"They're sleeping together," Emma often cheekily explained whenever Mel and Geri acted too chummy to the point that it drew funny looks from someone outside of the five of them. And the two older girls would just laugh because they were quite literally sleeping in the same bed.

It was no surprise then that when time came for them to move on from the Herberts, Mel and Geri decided to take up an apartment together. The flat happened to be in the same neighborhood as Melanie's mum's house and so it became sort of like their unofficial headquarters along with Geri's trusty Fiat Uno, which served as their mobile HQ for when they roved the streets, searching for houses of songwriters or music producers they wanted to work with.

"So Matt…" Mel said one Saturday evening as she deposited herself on the couch beside Geri. She was referring to Matt Rowe, one-half of the songwriting duo they'd just written materials with, the latest being a slow ballad. It was one of those rare moments when Mel agreed to stay in instead of going out. She'd expended enough energy that morning at the gym so was not averse to a little quiet evening spent on the couch, eating pizza while watching a show on the box.

Geri barely looked up from the book she'd been reading for the past hour. She flicked ash from the cigar clipped between two fingers and asked absentmindedly, "Hm?"

"What happened there?"

Geri turned a page. "What do you mean?"

Mel frowned, feeling a bit miffed that she had to explain. Geri knew exactly what she was talking about; she was just playing demure. She ran her fingers through her hair impatiently. "You and Matt…. Are you -or _were_ you- bonking?" The crude slang was to catch attention.

"What?" Geri finally peeled her eyes from her book to stare at Mel in stunned disbelief, her cigar dangling between her lips, forgotten for the moment.

"You are, aren't you? I knew it." Mel didn't know why but the knowledge irritated her. She grabbed Geri's pack of hamlets on the coffee table nearby and took one out without asking. She lit it with Geri's zippo, inhaled and blew smoke in the air between them.

Geri was carefully putting out her own finished cigar on the ashtray. "I don't know what you're talking about, Melanie,” she said carefully, gaze down. “Matt and I are just friends."

Mel sneered. She was irritated that Geri wouldn’t just admit it. "Friends bonk each other, too."

"I don't know why you'd think that about Matt and me," Geri said, her tone protesting. "We worked together."

"You don't think I didn't notice the way you two were making eyes at each other _while_ you were working together?"

“What the hell are you talking about?” Now, Geri looked peeved.

Mel snickered and held up her hand when Geri started to open her mouth to say more. "Hey, I'm not judging," she said. "Just wanna know what the fuck's going on, and if that's gonna be a thing with you and every single person we end up working with."

As soon as she said that last part, Mel regretted it. She regretted it because she didn't mean it and she knew it wasn't true. She just said it to be mean.

Geri fell silent for a moment as she mulled over what Mel said. Her face went red in that way it often did when she was offended by something. But when she finally spoke, she sounded controlled, "Well, I don't understand why you think that about me. Or why you're so mad about it. Nor how it is any of your bloody business who I sleep with or don't.” Her eyes were spitting blue fire when she gazed at Mel directly. “ _You_ flirt with every person who comes within a meter of your radius."

Mel felt her heart do an odd flip. "I don't flirt with -"

But Geri gave her that look - that silent, furious and hurt look that usually meant Mel was going to have to sleep alone in the double bed that night.

The subject was not discussed again.

But, in the next few days, Mel took pains to be extra attentive to Geri and less sociable (she was _not_ flirty) to 'every person who came within a meter of her radius.' It didn't take long for Geri to forget about the offense, however, and soon the two of them were larking about like usual.

"….When we're big, I think that we should do a movie," Geri was saying one night the two of them stayed up in Mel's room in her family's house in Leeds. The room was shared with Danielle, Mel’s younger sister, who was asleep in the next bed.

Mel laughed as she sat up to pour herself a glass of fancy wine they nicked from Elliot Kennedy's kitchen earlier that week. "We're not even signed yet. And you're talking about a movie?"

"Yeah," Geri said, not really listening as she went on, "and we'll have big stars appear in it in little cameo roles. It'll be brilliant and hilarious."

"What's the movie about then?"

"Anything, really. I'd like to play a Bond girl character. A femme fatale. A bit of a villain," Geri revealed dreamily. She, too, helped herself to some of the wine. At this point, they were both tipsy but that was the best way to be when they let their imaginations run wild. "What role would you like to play?" She asked, turning to Mel on the bed beside her.

"I'd like to play myself."

"…but that's not acting if you just play yourself."

"It'll be a bit like a farce. I play myself but in an exaggerated way."

Geri giggled as an idea struck her. "Or we could play each other. I think I can play Vicky."

"No, _I'll_ play Vicky," Mel objected.

She and Geri exchanged looks and said in a chorus, "'Coz she has the best outfits!"

"Ahhhh, I can't wait for us to get signed already!" Mel sounded, reaching out to place her empty glass on the dresser nearby and then settling more comfortably on the bed.

Geri snuggled under the sheets as well, adding, "And be famous!"

"And be fucking rich!"

"And buy a castle!"

"And buy a – wait, what?"

Geri laughed giddily as she threw her arms out, nearly hitting Mel with an elbow in the face. "I want a castle with servants and horses and all that."

"I don't want a fucking castle," Mel mumbled, grimacing at the thought and pushing Geri’s arm away from her face. "I want a house – no, a mansion! With enough grounds to raise goats and chickens and a fabulous garden with a fountain in the middle. There you go."

"Ooh, can I put my horses to grass in your mansion grounds, Ms. Brown?"

"Only if you pay a hefty stable fee, Ms. Halliwell."

Geri affected a scandalized tone and a South American accent for some reason. "Oh my, how mercenary!"

"Could you two please shut up? I'm trying to sleep here," Danielle suddenly piped up from the next bed. When Mel turned sixteen and moved out of the house, she thought she finally had the room to herself, but no, she had to listen to this kind of inane conversation every other weekend. Without waiting for a response, Danielle turned over to her side, facing away from them, pulling the duvet over her head as she did.

Mel and Geri stared at each other for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "Shh, you're going to wake granny up," Mel scolded while Geri snorted.

"I can hear you, you know," Danielle said.

Another bout of laughter at the expense of Danielle and then the two finally sobered up. They were lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling, when Geri said, "Hey, Mel?"

"Yeah, Geri?"

Geri sighed. "Do you think it's always going to be like this?"

"Like what?" Mel turned to Geri at the same time she looked up and her lips nearly brushed her jaw.

"You and me."

Mel turned her gaze back to the ceiling, thinking. Then she murmured something unintelligible, so Geri had to raise herself up on her elbow to study her face.

"Pardon?"

In the darkness, Mel's brown eyes found Geri's. "I said, I can't imagine it any other way."

Geri paused for a moment, her eyes continuing to search Mel’s. Then, she grinned and lay back down, her head touching Mel's shoulder. "Yeah, I can't either."


	12. Olympics

“Do you think she’ll finally get it?” Victoria murmured to Emma as they stood in the sidelines, watching Melanie C mouth off on Mel B and Geri for messing up and laughing during one of their routines.

They were rehearsing for the Olympics. It was all supposed to be very hush-hush but it was probably the biggest open secret in the whole media coverage leading up to the closing ceremony. Melanie C wanted everything to be perfect. However, the two loudest mouths in the group seemed to be enjoying themselves too much.

“Or I’m gonna have to split the two of you up!” Melanie C threatened, only half-jokingly.

“Sorry,” Geri said while Mel B just laughed.

Emma watched Melanie C’s face and chuckled. “No, I don’t think so. But wait for it. She might still catch on.”

 

* * *

 

Melanie C stepped off the stage, just a bit ahead of the girls. All of them were brimming and practically bursting with energy. Mel B and Geri were the last to get off, having stopped to take a selfie together. They ended up ruining it as Mel B said something which caused Geri to bray right into the camera just as the shutter clicked.

“Oh no, oh no,” Geri moaned when she saw how she looked. “Melanie, you have to delete that!”

“No way! This is a work of art!” Mel declared with a cackle, holding her cellphone up to keep Geri from getting to it.

“I look ridiculous!”

“You look insane, I love it.” Mel slipped the phone in her cleavage and patted it for good measure. “There now. It’s the safest place on – goddammit, Geri!”

And Melanie who was watching the whole exchange had to laugh when Geri casually put her hand down Mel’s décolletage and snatched the phone away.

The excitement of the performance, the crowd’s reaction, the exhilaration of being on stage with each other again, were electrifying and all of them knew that they weren’t coming down from this high any time soon. Backstage, they took several more photos, and Mel B refused to change out of her costume even as the others had already taken theirs off and donned different outfits. Then, one of the assistants reported that the Spice Girls’ number was becoming _the_ most tweeted moment of the closing ceremony. This only added to the wild success of their evening, transporting them right back to the best days as a band, so that when Geri next suggested they go to George Michael’s house for a party, no questions were asked. They all got inside the limousine they rented for the evening and laughed and drank the whole ride through. 

George’s house turned out to be _the_ place for the Olympics after-party. There were about a hundred people there, by invitation only, all celebrities in their own right, all buzzing with elation. The only few times Melanie had seen these many rich, powerful and famous people together under one roof were at the Brits and, even then, they were mostly musicians and not this select crew of rock stars, pop idols, models, actors from both the big and silver screens, comedians, presenters, designers and stylists.

Their group, which included Jade (but not Victoria and David, who had both tapped out earlier), congregated on the pool terrace. The edge of the pool turned out to be a popular spot for people from their industry. Melanie saw many familiar faces – dozens of whom she knew, dozens more she only recognized. George was there, of course. He and Geri were old friends and he stopped by their couch to chat and catch up on old times.

Sometime in the night, Mel B and Geri, who were inseparable that entire evening, got up and disappeared for a several minutes, doing god-knows-what. Melanie was not even surprised anymore since they used to do that all the time. But when they did get back, they brought along a surprising character: Liam Gallagher.

Mel B was shouting, “Girls, look who we found lurking by the pool bar!”

Melanie and the other girls jeered in delight as they pulled Gallagher into the couch with them. Their raucous laughter and high energy soon caught the attention of other nearby guests, many of whom came over to mingle and to congratulate them on a great night. One of these guests happened to be the recently divorced Russel Brand, who was visibly mashed and obviously on the pull. Most everybody who read tabloids knew that Geri was recently single again and that seemed to be enough to make her a target. He squeezed himself between Emma and Geri and proceeded to flirt shamelessly with the latter.

Melanie snickered to herself as she watched Geri do her good-humored, scatty thing and try to engage him in earnest conversation instead, which had the unintended effect of deflecting his more direct advances. The overall result was comical and even Emma was having trouble holding it in. Mel B, who was never polite for the sake of it, laughed the loudest. She also told Brand off several times, but always hilariously of course, for it was a fun night and nobody wanted to ruin it.

“Geri, I gotta go to the loo,” Mel B said sometime later, marching over to where Geri sat and pulling her up by the hand. “Come and show me where it is.”

“Hang on, we’re still talking,” Brand protested. “Why not take one of your other friends with you?”

“Eh, we have names, Brand, in case you didn’t know,” Melanie said, reaching over to give his shoulder a hard shove, to which Emma only laughed.

“There’s one upstairs. Hardly anyone ever uses it,” Geri was saying to Mel and completely ignoring Brand.

“Alright, can I come then? I’m not averse to a little girl-on-girl action myself.”

“Sod off!” Mel was already dragging Geri away.

Brand was about to follow but his attention was caught by a hot young film star stroll past, wearing a skimpy outfit and mile-high heels. He went after her instead. _Typical._ Melanie rolled her eyes and sipped her drink, watching people flutter about by the poolside. Brand’s odd remark did not register fully with Melanie until about half an hour later when Mel and Geri reappeared but didn’t rejoin them right away.

Watching them, their heads were pressed close together, arms linked, it struck Melanie (not for the first time) how close those two were. Granted, they were always the two closest to each other but things were not always so. There were more than a few bumps along the road. There was Geri’s leaving at the height of the band’s success, which Melanie always suspected devastated Mel B on some personal level more than she let on. And there was Mel B’s personal problems during their last reunion tour, which somehow did a number on Geri as well and ruined any chances they had of planning future projects as a band.

Now that Melanie thought about it, there was always some drama going on between Mel and Geri, of which she barely knew the half. More than any of the band members, there was always the two of them at the center of some shit storm or other. Because Melanie was too caught up in her own issues, she never noticed or cared. However, since becoming a mother, she had become more attuned with her surroundings and she was beginning to realize something off with the two.

Melanie drank slowly, still watching her two bandmates. They were now dancing, lighting up the dance floor, along with some other people who were animated by the DJ’s right banger. Mel moved confidently at first but had to pause and clutch her sides as Geri busted out some madcap moves. Despite herself, Melanie, too, had to laugh. As did Emma, who was apparently watching as well.

“Geri’s always so bloody harebrained, isn’t she?”

“She’s lovely,” Emma only said between giggles.

“How’d those two make up anyway?” Melanie seriously doubted the two even spoke until right before the one-off Olympics performance entered serious discussions. But if anybody knew anything, it would be Emma. The three of them were tight even back then.

Emma shrugged and helped herself to another glass of champagne being offered by a passing waiter. “Oh, you know,” she said, taking a sip from her glass. “One of them just had to swallow their pride and make the first move.”

Melanie sniggered, agreeing completely. “So, who was it this time around?”

“Not sure. I suppose it was Melanie. Stephen called me once, out of the blue, and asked me for her number.”

Melanie’s smile faded somewhat at the mention of the name. Mel’s husband was not popular among her London friends, to say the least. “And you gave it to him?”

“Not at first, but Melanie came on the phone and asked me herself.”

“You know something funny?” Melanie said after a long pause. She glanced at Emma and went on, “I always thought they were too close for their own good.”

Emma let out an amused snort like she knew something but wasn’t letting it on. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know how moths are always drawn to a flame? That’s how I see them.”

To Melanie’s surprise, Emma cackled at this observation.

The music suddenly changed to something slow and intimate. Melanie looked over to the dance floor, expecting to see her friends make their way back. Instead, she saw that not only did they stay on but they were swaying drunkenly together, Geri’s arms circling Mel’s neck while the latter had her hands wrapped around waist. Mel seemed to whisper something in Geri’s ear, which made the latter smile and hold her tighter. Their closeness was never more obvious and it made Melanie oddly uncomfortable watching them. It was almost like accidentally catching her own parents being intimate, like kissing or snogging.

Or even having sex.

At that last thought, Melanie had to pause. Then she felt – like _literally_ felt – her jaws go slack and slowly drop, and she turned to Emma, eyes wide open, as she made the uncanny realization.

“Oh. My. God.”

Emma took one look at her face and erupted into peals of laughter.


	13. Flash-Forward

Geri’s day typically began before sunrise. This morning, the clock on the bureau read 4:00 and, despite wanting to stay under the covers and savor the warmth of the person sleeping next to her, she reluctantly got up and lowered her feet on the cold floor. She sat there for a few minutes, shivering, then she rose and hurriedly crossed the room to the walk-in closet.

_Right. Yoga._

She had about an hour to do all the exercises and squeeze in a few minutes of journaling before she had to make breakfast and get the kids ready for school.

* * *

 

 

Mel rolled over and reached to her right, only to encounter empty space. For a brief second, she thought the dream had ceased, but then she opened her eyes and saw the sunrays seeping in the gaps between the drapes.

The room was familiar. For the past year, she’d been sleeping here and waking up to the faint sound of animals juddering and the smell of coffee wafting in from the kitchen. The children should be up soon. Before they did, she liked to get down to the kitchen, catch a few minutes of quiet and watch the woman who shared her bed putter about as she prepared breakfast.

 

* * *

 

 

Geri knew the sound of those steps like the back of her own hand and she looked up from the counter just as Mel appeared around the corner, walking with a natural bounce in her step. As always, the sight of her set Geri alight, and she smiled warmly as she greeted, “Good morning, my love.”

Mel made no response but Geri was not expecting any. She had discovered a long time ago that Mel hardly said anything in the mornings. She stood up to go and pour coffee in a mug. But as she rounded the kitchen island and passed by Mel on her way to the coffee station, Mel grabbed her by the hips and pulled her in, fusing their bodies together. Dark, brown eyes ran over Geri from head to foot and then she was leaning forward, capturing her mouth in a soft and lingering kiss.

Geri’s lips were still pleasantly tingling when Mel finally let her go, still without saying a word, and took a seat at the table. A moment later, Geri joined her and placed a steaming mug in front of her before picking up her abandoned pen to resume writing on her journal.

It was an old habit of hers, something Geri had always done from a very young age as a way for her to process her day ahead and jot down ideas. She knew Mel kept a diary as well but she usually reserved that activity in the evening.

It had been two years and six months since Geri’s divorce. After the papers were signed, they did not get together right away. It was necessary, the gap between the end of one relationship and the rekindling of an old one. Mel needed to gain some perspective; Geri needed to be certain. They were not young anymore and both of them had already run through the gamut of relationships, both theirs and with others. Though there were a lot of feelings between them, it had not been an easy decision for either one. Perhaps because they knew there could be no more games. If and when they started again, they would be playing for keeps.

They’d been together now for a year and each day was a revelation.

“I missed you when I woke up,” Mel said as she took a sip of her coffee. She said things like this now, delivered without much sentiment but not without sincerity. She knew that what she felt needed to be said sometimes.

“I know.” Geri absently stroked Mel’s arm, then reached further to grope a boob.

Mel chuckled and Geri glanced at her, grinning. “If you’d stayed in bed, you’d have had more than just a feel, you know,” Mel said with a smirk.

Unable to resist, Geri leaned over to give her a peck on the lips. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really.” Mel held her cup with both hands and shrugged casually. “Had a really nice dream about it though,” she said, adding leeringly, “Very hot.”

With color blooming on her cheeks, Geri put her pen between the leaves of her journal and leaned back. “I have to hit the ground running. It’s Sports Day today in Madi’s school. Bluey and Angel also have their school excursion this afternoon.”

Madison, Mel’s little carbon copy, was ten and was enrolled in Year 6 while Bluebell and Angel, fifteen and fourteen, respectively, were in Year 10. It had taken the girls a bit of an adjustment, transferring schools in the middle of a school year, but after about a year, they finally settled and even found friends. Phoenix remained in boarding school but was due to return home in a few weeks for summer break. For the first time in months, all of the kids would be home together and both Mel and Geri were looking forward to family bonding time.

“I didn’t forget,” Mel said, capturing Geri’s hand in her own.

Geri laced their fingers together and squeezed. “Can you drop them off on your way to the studio? Monty still has that pesky cold. I want to take him to Dr. Miller for a check-up.”

“Of course, my love. What time will you be home from the doctor’s?”

“Just before lunch, I suppose, if we don’t get distracted. I want to do a bit of work before the kids come home from school.” Classes ended at 3:00 p.m., which meant Geri had at least a couple of hours after lunchtime to slog away on her laptop.

“I’m coming home for lunch then.”

“Oh. What about your show?” She asked, then saw the look in Mel’s eyes and made a realization. “ _Oh._ ”

Mel smiled languidly, sliding her hand around the back of Geri’s neck to draw her closer. “Geri, when I said I missed you, I meant it.”

“I see.” She gave a soft, ecstatic laugh. Despite having known Mel for years, she still had such a way with words that went through Geri like a spear in her chest, reducing her into a giddy, blushing mess. It thrilled her, made her feel desirable and in turn made her feel that old familiar craving for all things Mel.

The kiss this time was warm and restrained, promising more heat later, and Geri had to draw a shuddering breath.

“Ew, can you two get a room?”

They both turned at the sound of Madison’s voice.

The nine-year-old was making a face as she walked under the archway that connected the dining room with the kitchen. Geri chuckled, embarrassed at being caught. Mel, on the other hand, appeared nonchalant, only reaching forward to tug one of Madi’s braids to annoy her. Bluebell and Angel trailed after her, too busy talking excitedly about their school trip to notice.

“Hello, darlings,” Geri said, leaning down to receive a kiss from each of them, who then moved on to give Mel hers. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“I want cereal and M&Ms,” Madi said matter-of-factly.

The _au pair_ soon came in with Monty in tow and Geri came over to pick him up for cuddles.

“Hey, Mum,” Blue said as she took a seat at the table and Geri deposed Monty on Mel's lap, “can Angel sit with me on the bus for the school trip? She’s supposed to sit with others in her grade but we want to sit together.”

Geri was pouring cereal into a bowl for Madi.

“And M&Ms,” Madi reminded her. “But I don’t want the green ones.”

“No M&Ms,” Mel interjected as Geri went to get the milk from the fridge. “You can have the candy as a snack later.”

Geri turned around, and the sight of Mel sitting at the kitchen table, fussing over Madi while holding Monty, with Blue and Angel sitting right next to her, struck her so hard and so suddenly she had to pause. Mel glanced up and asked for toast.

"Can you take out the green ones?"

"Fine, I'll sort out the green ones."

“Mrs. Richardson said our seatmates on the bus will be our buddy for the day,” Angel was saying to Geri, who had recovered enough to come and pour milk into their glasses. “Bluey said we can be buddies.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Geri said, popping a few slices of bread in the toaster. “I’ll give Mrs. Richardson a ring and your mum will talk to the bus driver.”

The two girls yelped in excitement at this.

“Now, come on and eat your breakfast,” Mel urged the girls, catching Geri’s amused gaze and winking.

 

* * *

 

 

At half past noon, Geri looked up at the sound of the front door opening and the dogs barking. Mel had called earlier to say that she might not make it for lunch after all; she was in the middle of taping. Geri wasn’t expecting any guests either. She was about to get up and see who was coming when Mel stormed into the sun room, dragged Geri up from the couch and pushed her against a wall, her eyes dark, lips full and flushed.

Geri tried to speak, but Mel kissed her, hard and fast, one hand already snaking up her shirt to cup her breast, the other sliding down to the space between her legs, fingers curling there and pressing down. Geri whimpered in shock as desire slammed through her like a storm surge.

“Mel,” she managed to gasp. On her neck, Mel’s breath brushed across her skin. “What…?” She started to say only to feel long fingers fumbling with the button of her jeans, lowering the zipper and brushing against the dampness between her legs. She couldn't believe how quick her response was, or how Mel just did whatever she pleased, skimming between her folds and sliding home.

Geri let out a soft cry, burying her hands in Mel’s soft, luxurious curls, fingers twisting, as she felt Mel’s fingers inside her, stretching her, filling her. Dark eyes were on her, heavy and intense, and Geri found her mouth going dry. Between her legs, she felt her desire pool where Mel’s long fingers started moving in sweet friction, shooting out across her like white hot blades. Geri groaned helplessly as she pressed her face in the crook of Mel’s neck.

Beneath her hands, she could feel Mel trembling, or maybe it was just her. She couldn’t tell any longer; her body wasn’t hers. Mel took her mouth roughly, running her tongue over hers, the points of her teeth snagging her bottom lip, tasting her even as she invaded her body in fast, hard strokes.

Geri broke the kiss, gasping, as Mel bent to press her burning lips to the swell of her breasts. She was going crazy, mindless, eyes rolling. Then, just when she thought she couldn’t feel any more strongly, Mel angled her fingers against her just so, and the spiraling pleasure turned dark and bright.

Geri came in a split second, toes curling, her cries muffled in Mel’s mouth.

“I need to get back to the studio,” Mel’s throaty whisper registered in Geri’s brain as soon as she was coherent. It was the first thing she’d said since she got home.

Outside, it had begun to rain softly but the sun rays poured over the garden like cheer, seeping through the branches, lending a golden hue to everything it touched. A reminder that happiness could not be contained. It existed in the turn of a leaf, or at the bottom of a bowl of milk and cereal, or in the gaze of someone who mattered most.

“I thought you said you’ll miss lunch,” Geri said half-accusingly as she tried to straighten her clothes.

It was a good thing Geri had long ago laid down the rule never to disturb her when she was in the sun room, working. Otherwise, it would have been so easy for any of the household staff to just walk in and see them. Whether Mel knew or didn’t know about this remained a question. Her boldness was what made her exciting as a partner. It also made Mel feel far too supremely pleased with herself, which was a bit annoying.

So, later that evening, Geri returned the favor.

Mel sat back in her favorite chair in the den, looking up at the ceiling with glassy eyes, holding back a moan. In front of her lay her open journal with her entry for the day unfinished. Her pen had dropped and rolled on the floor a while ago but she didn’t even bother to pick it up because Geri was under the desk, kneeling between her legs and worshipping her with her lips and tongue and fingers.

 

* * *

 

 

Geri rolled over to her side and watched Mel’s face in repose, her chest gently rising and falling with each breath. She seemed lovelier somehow, softer. The image tugged at her, remembering an earlier time when she’d wondered if she could love her all over again. She’d known she desired her more than anyone but what she didn’t know was to what extent. Had it been all about this – a hand on her breast? Or had she wanted to watch her like this each morning for the rest of her life? Back then, she hadn’t known the answer and the fear of getting hurt again had prevented her from entertaining the thought further.

But that was then.

(Years ago, Geri fell in love with a loud-mouthed teenage girl. But time was their enemy and life was their enemy and she wanted, god how she wanted. She knew. Her first love was brave eyes and brown skin and smile so lovely…. She smiled at her, that girl. She smiled at her and Geri forgot how to breathe.)

Now…now was different.

Large, brown eyes opened to gaze at her fixedly. “Hey,” she whispered, a frog in her throat. She moved until she was lying on her side to face her, eyes fluttering close sleepily.

“Hey,” Geri whispered back, her own voice husky from non-use. She stroked her cheek and let her fingers glide through the soft curls she loved so much.

“Why are you awake?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want another round?”

Geri chuckled. “Tempting but no.”

A faint grin curved Mel’s lips. Her eyes were still closed. “Anytime, baby. Just say the word.”

She was incorrigible and Geri loved her for it with a love that was complete and utterly abandoned. She said so in a whisper, drawing her close and filling the spaces between them. “I love you so much, you lovely sex fiend.”

“I love you so much, you sexy-ass lunatic.”


	14. Phone Conversation

Melanie woke up with a start, her heart pounding fast, her body drenched in sweat. Her room was pitch dark except for the faint illumination streaming in from the street lamp outside. In front of her, shadows lurked in corners, taking on eerie shapes and for a moment, she thought she recognized one of them as the figure sprung up and lunged towards her.

Clutching her chest in panic, Melanie frantically reached for the lamp on her nightstand. She missed the switch, once, twice, and then her trembling fingers finally found the chain and pulled.

The room was immediately bathed in warm, yellow light.

There was no one there.

As relief flooded through her, Melanie clutched her mouth to muffle her scream. 

 

* * *

 

 

Geri was just finishing a late breakfast when she noticed that her phone was vibrating. Taking a sip of her tea, she turned it face up to look at the screen.

' _Brown,’_ it just said. Geri frowned in puzzlement, knowing that it was a quarter past two in the morning in L.A. at this time. Mel should be asleep, and if she weren’t, she’d be out partying anyway and wouldn’t call.

Out of sheer curiosity, Geri pressed the green button to answer.

“Finally, she answers!” Mel’s voice boomed through the receiver. As always, her loud, cheery laugh made Geri smile but something in her tone vaguely unsettled. There was no music blasting or other voices in the background either, which meant that she wasn’t out at some club or with friends.

“Melanie, to what do I owe this rare pleasure?” Geri asked tentatively as she held her phone to her ear with one hand while she picked up her dirty plate with the other and walked over to the sink.

“Can’t a girl drunk-dial her ex sometimes?”

“Sure,” she answered lightly, mumbling under her breath, “not like you haven’t butt-dialed me before.”

“I said drunk-dial.”

“Pfft, what’s the difference?”

“Geraldine,” Mel intoned blithely. “Have you been eavesdropping on my conversations?”

Years ago, Geri told Mel her mother always called her ‘Geraldine.’ Of course, the confession only meant Mel called her by that name whenever she liked to tease Geri or piss her off. So, ignoring the taunt, Geri just deposited her plate in the dishwasher, grabbed her cup of tea on her way out and made her way to the living room. “Yes, very riveting, Brown. Especially that one time at your dentist’s.”

“Shut up, you were listening?” Mel cackled.

“Heard all the gory details.”

“Ahhh, you’re fibbing!”

“Are you drunk then?” Geri asked, swiftly changing the topic.

“Evasive maneuver. Classic Halliwell.”

Geri let out a snort as she settled on the couch. “Why are you awake? It’s the middle of the night over there.”

“Yeah, and it’s been a bloody day. I just wanna tune out everything, have a bit of a chin-wag with my girl.”

Despite Melanie’s sardonic tone, Geri was touched. Mel rarely rang. She preferred to text and it was always Geri who initiated or responded with a FaceTime or a callback. But that happened less often now. These days, it seemed Mel liked to hang out with Emma the most and Geri hated to admit it, but she felt a bit left out. “Alright, darling,” she said with infinite patience. “What’s on your mind?”

Geri could almost hear Mel’s shrug when she said instead, “Why don’t you tell me what you’re up to?”

Geri quirked her brow in bemusement. Mel was being very peculiar. “Well, it’s eight o’ clock here,” she began.

Mel seemed to wait for her to continue.

Geri sighed and rolled her eyes. “I just had breakfast. Beans on toast, if you must know. And now I’m finishing my tea in my very comfy couch before I have to go wake the kids up.”

“Oh, how are the kids?”

“They’re great. Blue’s starting school today and Monty and I are going out for a walk later….” She went on giving Mel the rundown of the next couple of hours of her day when she heard the sound of liquid being poured into a glass from Mel’s end, and paused.  “…What are you doing?” She inquired softly, unable to hide the concern from her voice. She’d joked about Mel being drunk but she knew Mel had been sober for almost twelve months now.

“I’m drinking water, Geri,” Mel said as though reading her mind. “Just water. I’m in my kitchen in my dressing gown, having myself a glass of plain, tasteless water.”

“Okay, I get it. Sorry.” She didn’t say she was worried but that was between the lines.

“It’s fine.”

“Are you going back to sleep soon?” Geri checked her watch.

“I’m going back to bed, grandma, but not to sleep yet.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t” was Mel’s airy answer, adding cheekily, “Might have to jill off first to do so.”

Geri sat up and switched the hand that had been holding her phone. “Hey, Mel?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Stop it,” she said, gently but firmly. “Whatever you’re doing, just stop.”

Mel was silent, and for a moment, Geri wondered if she’d finally done it – stepped way over the line. She knew that Mel hardly talked about anything that troubled her. She could be so fiercely independent and so obstinate about it, too, it used to try Geri’s patience all the time.

Years ago, Mel told her that it was easier to keep everybody at arm’s length because it allowed her to solve her problems without burdening anyone. Helpless to go against instinct, it was a habit Mel found the hardest to shake. The only difference now was that she actually called. It was a testament to the closeness they had regained over the years and the trust that was slowly being rebuilt between them that Mel should choose to pick up the phone. Ultimately, it was what gave Geri the confidence to probe, “Please tell me what’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream,” Mel said, too quickly. “It’s all over now. I woke up.”

Something in her tone, the way it dipped, told Geri it was more than that. Mel had mentioned the nightmares before – of Stephen coming into her house and violating with his presence the home Mel and her girls had made for themselves.

"Talk to me.”

“Just a dream, Geri. I don’t even remember it anymore.”

“You’re hurting.” If she could reach across the line and touch her cheek, she would. As it is, she only felt her heart slowly being squeezed. “You talk, I’ll listen,” she urged.

“It’s not important.”

“Melanie, I’m not going away until you talk to me.”

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie didn’t even know where to start. She wished, not for the first time during this call, that she was back in England, in London or Leeds, close to the people who best knew her, people who saw her before Stephen came and wrecked everything.

In a way, Geri represented the best of those people – because she saw her when no one else did at a time when she was literally nobody. She was right along with her when the pandemonium of fame and celebrity swept them up. They’d shared secrets no one else knew; shared more than that, in fact.

But Geri also was responsible for her first heartbreak. (So young, all passion, driven by ambition, they were knives; they were bound to mangle everything up.) Melanie did not miss the irony that the one person she trusted the most now was the same person who broke that trust some twenty years ago.

“Talk to me.”

She sounded firm, like the old Geri who used to boss them all around. She never bossed Melanie though. Melanie wouldn’t let her. Back in the day, they were so in sync, it didn’t matter that neither one submitted to the other. They were more like co-pilots, leading with similar vision – Geri with her crazy fantasies and sheer ambition and Melanie with her characteristic fearlessness and audacious attitude. The others just fell in line behind them.

“You talk, I’ll listen.”

Geri didn’t give her any words of sympathy. Melanie would have hated that. She didn’t know if she ever told Geri; it seemed as if she’d known instinctually, from the very beginning, that Melanie would never accept pity from anyone. (Once, Geri told her that shutting everybody out was actually hurtful but the ones who cared most would always persist.)

“Melanie, I’m not going away until you talk to me.”

There was assurance there, almost like an embrace. And Mel wanted nothing more than to sag into it, let out a breath that was a half-sob, half-sigh, and speak and speak and speak – of her fears and worries, of shadows of figures that weren’t there, of courtroom nightmares, of losing so much, of not being enough.

Instead, she asked, “Don’t you need to wake the kids up?”

“Mel….”

“Okay, maybe tomorrow after I get some actual sleep,” Mel promised, insisted on it because even if she wanted to now, she wouldn’t know where to find the words. She’d tried to put it all down on paper and even then, she barely touched the surface. She was an ocean –

“I’m getting in bed,” Mel said abruptly. She pulled back the sheets and slipped in, the warmth enveloping her. “I’m lying down.”

Geri’s crackling laugh came through the line. “Melanie Brown, please tell me you’re not actually going to rub one out. ‘Coz I’m hanging up.”

That surprised a bark of laughter from Mel. “Oh, you wish.”

Still grinning, Geri reminded her that today was the first day of auditions for the tour dancers. She and Emma were going. “Wish you were here,” she added wistfully.

“Me, too.” Mel pressed the back of her hand over her eyes, as she surged from laughter to longing without gaps in between. What a mess. She was in danger of spilling over.

“Are you alright, my love?”

Mel nodded, then realizing that Geri couldn’t see her, she said instead, “Could you stay on the line until I fall asleep?”

“Of course,” Geri said, and Mel could hear the faint smirk in her voice when she added, “If you don’t mind me doing my thing while on the line.”

“I’d like that. Your life is so boring I’m sure I’ll fall asleep in no time.”

“I know, right?” Geri moaned, without any trace of regret. “I’m such an old cow.” Then she went on talking as she made her way to the kids’ bedrooms, cutting herself off from time to time to answer Bluebell’s questions about who was on the phone, what she was supposed to wear, and to softly fuss at Monty who demanded cuddles as soon as he saw her.

Listening to Geri going on about her daily routine, Mel closed her eyes and smiled even as a pang of homesickness and love seized her until it was painful to breathe.

 

* * *

 

 

_“I miss you.”_


	15. Dinner Date 2013

They left CUT at 45 Park Lane at half past nine in the evening. It was drizzling. Neon flashed off puddles, rippling as cars run past.

“What I would give for a fag right now,” Geri mused aloud, tapping her index and middle fingers against her lips absently. She was counting the days she had last had one. Exactly three months, thirteen days and – she checked her watch – two and a half hours.

Sitting next to her, Melanie B glanced at her and grinned. “I heard that in the early days of nonsmoking,” she said in her broadest Leeds accent, loud enough to be heard by the chauffeur, “you need a lot of oral satisfaction.”

“Do you know what?” Geri snickered as she turned to Mel with a merry glint in her eyes. “I think it depends on who’s giving the satisfaction.”

“Ooh, could it be someone isn’t quite getting any?”

Geri burst out laughing.

They were sprawled in the backseat of Geri’s Land Rover, heads close together, elbows and knees bumping each other. They were on their way back to the hotel to drop Mel off. Both of them were tipsy from the hard drinks and conversation over dinner. Perhaps, Geri was feeling a bit more out of it than Mel. Partly because Geri had not been out with someone of Mel’s alcohol stamina for some time. And partly because everything had to be a challenge with Melanie B.

It was just a short ride to Mel’s hotel but for a road accident which caused a momentary traffic jam near Hyde Park Corner. Consequently, they arrived at Mel’s hotel thirty minutes later than it would have ordinarily taken. Mel managed to persuade Geri to come up for a brief spell, saying that she’d had a hard day at the studio and won’t Geri stay a bit and keep her company?

“Remember?” Mel then prompted with a roguish smile. “That time when you left on my birthday?”

“Oh god, you’re never going to stop holding that over my head, aren’t you?” Geri moaned.

“Every bloody chance I get!” Mel laughingly vowed as she skilfully stirred Geri across the lobby and through a long hallway.

 

* * *

 

 

Mel’s hotel room was long from the door to the square floor-length windows that overlooked the courtyard and, beyond, the muted outline of Big Ben. Geri didn’t pay much attention to the view, however. She was kneeling in front of the mini bar, rummaging through the beers and chocolates and bottles of sparkling water to find the stash of miniature liquors, stored way in the back.

“Found the alcohol,” she announced, trying to get up only to drop the bottles while doing so. "Oh, bollocks." They fell harmlessly on the carpet, one of them rolling under the bed. While she scrambled around to get it, Mel stepped into the bathroom.

“Well done, Geraldine,” she said. The door was slightly ajar and the faint notes of Mel’s ringtone could be heard drifting out. After a second, Mel walked over to close the door and turn the lock with a distinct click.

Geri did not notice as she was busy gathering the miniature bottles and spreading them on the coffee table in front of the television set. She sat on the six-foot sofa and looked around her. It was clear housekeeping had been there because the place looked squeaky clean – a far cry from the mess that Mel’s room always looked back in the day. Mel took her bloody time in the bathroom and, out of boredom, Geri picked up the remote. She flipped channels for a while before finally settling on a late-night syndication of a crime scene investigation show.

“Isn’t it a bit weird that when you’re gutted, like really, really gutted, you can physically feel it in your chest and stomach?” Geri slurred when Mel finally stepped out of the bathroom.

Mel paused in the doorway to the bathroom, wiping her nose with the heel of her hand. “What the hell are you on about?”

Geri peeled her eyes from the screen long enough to say with great solemnity, “They got the killer but her husband is dead.”

“Geri, turn that bloody thing off.”

“But it’s just getting good.”

Mel walked over, plopped down beside her and pressed the power button on the remote. On the coffee table was a bottle of wine chilling on ice that Geri had apparently decided to order through room service. The bottle was half-empty. Raising her eyebrows, she turned to Geri, only to find a pair of blue eyes gazing at her intensely.

“How is it,” Geri said, cupping her chin with one hand, “that you always look so…fit?”

At any other time, Mel would be thrilled to know that fifteen years and three children later she could still inspire an unsolicited though not unwelcome compliment from Geri Halliwell. Tonight, she could barely look her in the eye. The euphoria had not set in and Mel considered retreating to the bathroom to do another line.

Oblivious to Mel’s internal debate, Geri just smiled, reaching forward to gently brush the hair that had fallen over one of Mel’s shoulders.

Mel let out a sigh. She poured wine into her glass and sipped slowly, staring straight ahead with an air of disquiet.

This wasn’t how she wanted the evening to turn out. She’d wanted to have fun with Geri, catch up and relax. They hadn’t seen each other since February. Though they’d been talking to each other a lot, Mel hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her until they’d met up outside the restaurant. Geri looked so good, bright and full of laughter. They’d picked up right where they left off, but it was in the back of Mel’s mind the whole time.

Ever since she and Geri got back on and started working on new music, Mel got the idea of recording something with her. A duet could be good promotion. And the prospect of extending her stay in England to work in a studio with her again gave Mel such a boost she tattled about her intentions before even discussing it with the person concerned. Of course, the press ran a story about it. But it was Stephen who latched on stronger than she’d anticipated.

Mel was prepared to discuss it with Geri over dinner. Then, she decided to do it after they’d had a few drinks. In the end, she’d invited Geri up with a half-formed resolution to finally tell her. But, while Mel was in the bathroom, Stephen called and just like that, her mood spiraled down.

All of a sudden, the whole thing was infected by his luridness. And Mel was stuck, arrested, feeling only the knife twist in her chest and the roiling in her stomach.

 

* * *

 

 

“This wine is disgusting,” Mel declared hours later, emptying her glass in one go.

“It’s too sweet,” Geri agreed.

Mel was reaching for the bottle again, filled up her glass and held it over Geri’s questioningly. At her nod, Mel poured out the last of its contents. “And yet we cannot get enough of it.”

Mel looked piqued. Really piqued, Geri realized. While outwardly still exhibiting the same high energy and joviality from a couple of hours ago, Geri knew her too well not to notice the tension just simmering beneath the surface. She also knew the anger was not directed at her; otherwise, Mel would have gone off on her without hesitation.  Geri wondered if it had to do with the strange text message she received a while ago. The number was unknown but gut instinct told her to whom it belonged. The sheer arrogance of the message, not to mention its insulting tenor, suggested to Geri how much this man wanted control. Basically, nothing and no one was spared.

“Mind if I smoke?” Mel suddenly asked, already reaching for her coat where she kept a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in its pockets.

“Actually, I do, but you’ll do whatever you want anyway.”

Mel slipped a stick from the pack. “You know me so well.”

“Too well.”

Mel glanced at her with a curious expression. Her eyes were so dark, they looked black and there was a savageness to her smile when Geri finally asked her if there was something she wanted to say. Mel took her time lighting her cigarette, savoring the taste as she inhaled the smoke.

Geri could smell it; the temptation was overpowering. Torn between fury and betrayal, she leaned back, held her glass of wine close to her chest as she folded her knees under her. Mel on the other hand was stretched out, one arm resting on the back of the couch, the other holding her cigarette between elegant fingers.

“Australia is great this time of year,” Mel said without preamble.

“So, I hear.”

“You’ll love it over there.”

Geri nodded, took a sip of her wine. “How did Stephen get my number, Mel?”  She asked gently, with only a hint of real emotion.

There was a short silence, and then: “He checks my phone sometimes.”

Geri considered this for a moment before saying, “Tell him I don’t appreciate being told what to do.”

Mel chuckled derisively. “He really won’t appreciate hearing that.”

“I know. I don’t care. I owe him nothing.”

After a while, Geri finished her drink and put her glass on the table. Mel was lighting another fag, her expression remote and thoughtful. Something throbbed in the wide quiet between them. Geri could sense it, could name it almost. Reflexively, she glanced at Mel, noting the way her dress hugged and accentuated the lean, athletic build she’d kept all these years. She’d crossed her legs and it caused the skirt of her dress to hitch up slightly. Her bronzed skin seemed to glow under the soft light.

When Geri finally raised her eyes, Mel was wearing a shit-eating grin on her face. At once, Geri felt a twinge on her cheeks, embarrassed at being caught yet unable to brush it off with a sharp quip or a witty remark. Instead, she extended a hand and snatched the cigarette from her mouth.

“Oi –” Mel started to protest but stopped when Geri deliberately placed the cigarette between her lips.

Geri raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t offer me any.”

“You could’ve _asked_ ,” Mel said, eyes lingering on her lips. She didn’t say anymore as she picked up a loose strand of Geri’s hair and drew it over her shoulder, fingers brushing her skin just so, and feeling them both shiver.

There should be warning bells by now, Geri thought as she realized they were both considering it. It would be…a kind of comfort. But she also knew that it would be temporary. Like cutting cleanly to the bone, so cleanly, that neither of them would feel the pain until the cut bled.

“I think I’m plastered,” Geri said, slicing through the moment. She drew on the cigarette, feeling that old sensation of euphoria as the nicotine entered her bloodstream. Three months of abstinence was a new record for her anyway.

Mel stood up briskly, saying something about having to wake up early tomorrow for taping. Geri understood she was calling it a night. She crushed her cigarette on the ashtray and searched for her coat and her purse. Mel watched her move across the room, a strange gleam in her eyes. At the entry, Geri hesitated, seeing only that she’d left her cigarette smoldering in the ashtray, then she stepped out and shut the door firmly behind her.


	16. 2013 Part 2

There were tiny little people hammering holes from inside her head. She grimaced as she tentatively opened her eyes, prepared for the brutal assault of bright sunlight. It was just as well because she forgot to pull the drapes down last night and the room was flooded with harsh, sickening light.

It was 6:15 a.m. and Geri Halliwell never wanted to die more than at that moment. With a sound that was a half-groan and a half-curse, she finally got up and hobbled towards the connecting bathroom. There, she reached weakly for the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of aspirin. After unscrewing the cap, she took two tablets and washed them down with water from the tap.

Fifteen minutes later, Geri went down the stairs and paced forward slowly, almost glidingly, holding her head up as delicately as possible. When she reached the living area, the sight that greeted her made her pause.

“Mum!” Bluebell was shrieking from the top of the coffee table. Not in pain but hysterical with laughter.

“Bluey, what on earth…?” She whispered, holding her hand up to her temple.

“Quick! Get up on that chair! Hurry!” The demon-child continued to yell.

“Blue…”

“Mum, come _oonnnn!!!_ ”

“I will do no such thing.”

Bluebell’s cries were soon joined by the unmistakably husky voice of Melanie B. “Those are bold words to say, for someone who is standing on…lava.”

Geri whirled around, surprised.

Indeed, that was Mel B standing on a chair by the window beside some potted plants, looking fabulously sleek in a figure-hugging black top and tight jeans. She looked great, Geri noted with some resentment. She looked more than great. She looked good enough to make hearts lurch. Meanwhile, Geri remembered that she was still in the same pajamas and ratty t-shirt she had slept in last night and probably had bed head.

Mel caught her gaze and let out a slow grin. “Sorry, baby. Did we wake you?”

Geri ignored the sudden breathless pressure in her chest and gave her the stink-eye instead. “If you two must insist on being five-year-olds this morning, can you at least do it with softer voices? My head is about to split open,” Geri said, walking over to Blue to give her the usual ‘good morning’ kiss and asking if she’d had breakfast.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Mel said from her perch, completely unperturbed and laughing lightly. “Where’s _my_ hug?”

 

* * *

 

Melanie came bearing peace offerings of bacon naan rolls and ricotta hotcakes served with banana and honeycomb butter. She’d apparently stopped by a couple of famous London breakfast places on her way to Geri’s house to get them. Now, she was standing in Geri’s kitchen, making coffee and plating the food while keeping a steady chatter with her daughter, Blue.

Sitting at the table was Geri with her head cradled in both hands, nursing her hangover as best as she could. She looked up gratefully when Mel placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of her.

“Alright?” Mel asked, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m dying,” she said simply.

“Lightweight” was Mel’s taunt as she moved her hand and gave her a playful chuck under the chin.

“I thought you’d be in the studio today?” Geri said to her softly as Mel took her seat.

The faint blush on her cheeks charmed Mel as she murmured, “Got my schedule all mixed up. Taping is this afternoon.” When Geri made no reply, she went on, keeping her voice low, “Wasn’t sure if you had any plans. Last night was…”

“I was very drunk, Mel,” Geri said quickly. She straightened in her seat, grabbed her mug with both hands and held it close.

“Were you?” Mel challenged, reaching out to run a finger along the inside of Geri’s wrist. She felt her tremble.

Geri glanced at her furtively before averting her face.

_Careful._

Whether that was a warning or not, Melanie didn’t pay attention. She studied Geri’s profile, watched the movement of her throat as she swallowed through breath that had suddenly gone short. She licked her lips and Mel was taken back to that moment from last night. She had a clear image of her, cigarette between her lips, serving her such a look that the only reason Mel was able to resist (when every single inch of her wanted to give in) was the greater desire not to sully what they had with sordid thoughts and crass motives.

Yes, she wanted Geri. She wanted to take her to bed as much as she could and for as long as she’d let her. That she wanted to work with her as well was something different and not necessarily connected. Both desires were genuine and bore no resemblance at all to the sort of cheap publicity that Stephen was pushing for. It filled her with shame, the way he gunned for the duet. He didn’t even care if it was with Geri or one of the other three. He just wanted the hype. It was humiliating. It made her furious, too, because he had no right.

Mel and Geri were so young when things fell apart between them but Mel couldn’t recall a time when she’d stopped thinking of her. It was a secret between the two of them only. It was always in the back of her mind, the past few months only serving to shove the whole thing to the front again. She didn’t even stop to ask if she wanted to go through all of that again.

“Mum, can I go watch cartoons?” Blue suddenly piped up.

Mel and Geri turned to her unison and saw that she had managed to demolish three ricotta hotcakes and a roll while they were completely absorbed with each other.

Geri pushed back her hair behind her ears and nodded, clearing her throat. “Yes, darling, as soon as you finish your milk.”

“Can I finish my milk while watching cartoons?”

Mel had to laugh at this familiar bargaining exchange.

Geri looked at her, blue eyes crinkling in shared amusement. “Alright,” she said, smiling as she watched the seven-year-old get off her chair with her glass of milk and skip away.

 

* * *

 

 

This was crazy. Even for Geri, this was demented. She was single, yes, but Mel’s situation was very, very different. She never pictured herself being that person – one who jumped into an affair with someone who not only hurt her before but was also very much presently attached, knowing all the risks, both feet in and eyes wide open. And yet, here she was plunging right in.

The casual, single-minded approach with which Mel tore through her defenses was always Geri’s undoing. Heart pounding erratically. Face warm and hands trembling. She couldn’t even keep her damned eyes off her smiling mouth.

“Goddammit,” Geri muttered, helpless, watching that mouth descend toward hers.

Had she fantasized about this? For how long?

Then Geri felt Mel’s warm, full lips press against hers and could think of nothing else but the familiar, yet unfamiliar, texture of her. Her hand cupped her chin, tilting her head just so, mouth slanting over hers. Closing her eyes, Geri parted her lips and allowed Mel to taste and explore. Soft. Her lips felt extraordinarily soft and delightful as sin. How could she have forgotten that? Geri wanted to feel more of it and Mel obliged her, challenged her even. That was another thing about Mel that drove Geri to distraction.

The kiss seemed to go on forever. They kept it deliberately slow. Almost feather-light in restraint, confident in the knowledge that both wanted the same thing and didn’t need to hurry. By the time they parted, Geri’s breath was coming out in ragged gasps.

Mel slashed her mouth to Geri’s ear and whispered, “I want to see you tonight. Will you come to my hotel?”

Geri nodded, swallowed, tried to breathe.

Mel then planted a kiss on her cheek. Compared to the one they just shared, this was firmly chaste.

Geri didn’t think a day could pass by so slowly. Mel spent a little more time with them before her car service from the hotel came to pick her up. After she left, Geri went through the motions in her daily routine. She dropped off Blue at school, went to a meeting with her publicist to discuss an upcoming magazine photoshoot, its accompanying interview and appearances she had to make, and had lunch with a friend. Her afternoon was spent at the studio bouncing off some song ideas with the production team. Then she spent an hour at the gym, sweating off the vestiges of overindulgence from last night and dashed off to her favorite salon to get primped.

It wasn’t until Geri was standing outside Mel’s hotel suite and knocking at her door that the first hesitant thought began to creep in. But before she could even begin to entertain it, or even knock twice, Mel was right there, holding the door open, then pulling her inside and pressing her against the closed door.

“Did you eat?” Mel asked incongruously, her lips and tongue grazing Geri’s bottom lip the same time her hands circled her hips.

Geri shook her head, dropping her purse, her palm already sliding along the side of Mel’s neck, feeling her pulse quickening.

“Good,” Mel muttered.

Her hands were everywhere. Her mouth was everywhere. The pulse in Geri’s throat went wild when she felt the hot stirring of Mel’s breath there and her blood slowed when Mel kissed the area of skin along her clavicle. Geri felt one of her hands snake around her back, the other sliding up to cup her breast. It was too much at once. She almost cried when Mel finally pulled herself away and rested her head against the door to her side, hands now around her waist but not moving.

Geri breathed. In. Out. Slowly. Slowly. She glanced warily at Mel, finding the liquid brown eyes staring at her, a grin on her face. Geri quirked her brow, mouth curving despite herself. “What?”

“I ordered us room service.”

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie didn’t want to go out tonight. She didn’t want to share what little time they had with other people. When the food arrived, Mel instructed the room service staff to arrange the plates on the table out on the private terrace for a panoramic view of the city.

“Ooh, this is very romantic,” Geri commented, her manner tongue-in-cheek. She took the chair that Mel pulled for her and sat down.

“Can’t say I haven’t got game, eh?”

“Hmm.”

Mel sat opposite her and gestured towards the feast in front of them. “Geri, I don’t know what diet you’re on so I ordered a little bit of everything. Look, there’s salad and tofu and non-dairy…stuff.”

“Very sweet and thoughtful, too.”

“Shut up.”

Geri threw her head back and laughed.

It always amazed Melanie how easy it was for her and Geri to slip back into old habits. No matter how many years passed, or what sort of conflict they’d had during the interim, whenever they got on, they clinched. And while they basked in the moment, everything else tended to be relegated in the background.

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” Mel asked, holding her wineglass with one hand, the remote in the other.

After dinner, they’d decided to settle into the couch in front of the television. Now they were pressed side by side against each other, leaving absolutely no space between them.

Geri shrugged. “Whatever’s on, I guess.” She threw her arm around Mel’s shoulder, kissed her temple and breathed her in.

Mel chuckled. “Christ, Geri, if you want to move this to the bed, just say so. I’m not going to complain.”

“This is better, don’t you think?” Geri hummed.

Mel stared into the blue depths, her own eyes shining with mischief. “I don’t know, but I’m into it,” she said.

Geri’s eyes fell and lingered on Mel’s lips.

With heart hammering in her chest, Mel gripped Geri’s waist, hands caressing her sides, as she slowly drew her in. There was barely an inch between their mouths, but instead of kissing her, Mel wiggled her brows playfully. “What’s on your mind, Geraldine?”

“That if you don’t kiss me right this minute, I will slap you and leave.”

Mel was still chuckling softly when she finally, irrevocably brought their lips together. Geri kissed her back with more passion this time, burying her hands in Mel’s hair, eyes closed, lost in the moment. Mel brought one hand up to grasp her neck, thumb tucking underneath the sensitive spot behind her ear. Geri shivered and Mel felt that answering surge of her own blood.

There was a pool of heat settling in Mel’s belly. She felt like a fire had been lit inside of her as she dragged her lips over Geri’s, tasting her and delighting in how hot and responsive she was. She grasped her waist tighter, tugging until she felt Geri move to straddle her lap. She groaned at the same time she heard a moan slip from Geri’s lips as they settled against each other.

Mel leaned in to kiss along her jawline before going for her neck, sucking gently. Geri’s hands gripped her shoulders tightly as Mel’s own hands continued to caress her waist, up and down, then lower, sliding over the bare skin of her thighs where her dress had bunched up.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mel…” Geri whispered, tugging at her nape. Her breath hitched when Mel moved upward and took her mouth again, roughly this time, one hand cradling her back while her other hand – it _had_ to be her other hand – slipped and slid between her legs.

Mel pressed and Geri whimpered, hips jerking. The pleasure that radiated from that simple contact spread through her body to the tips of her fingers and toes. She picked up her head to look at Mel, seeing only that the other’s eyes were shuttered and molten with desire. They were both wordless as they held each other’s gazes, breaths shaking as Mel’s hand slipped into her underwear and Geri moved her hips, encouraging her. When Mel’s fingers slid between her folds, Geri gasped loudly, clutching at Mel in surprise. It felt _so_ good. Mel was murmuring something in her ear but nothing registered in Geri’s mind, only the sensation of her fingers dancing, gathering the wetness that had been pooling there since they started kissing.

Geri felt her heart pounding in her chest. She gritted her teeth, feeling like she might fall as Mel teased her entrance. She couldn’t help grinding her hips down against her fingers. “Inside,” she hissed. “ _Noooow_.”Her demand elongated into a low moan when Mel chose that moment to push two fingers inside her, inch by achingly slow inch.

When Mel was firmly ensconced and touching the deepest part of her, she paused. Geri felt like her head was in clouds. She brought her hands up, cradled Mel’s face and drew her mouth to hers, kissing her with all the passion and feelings she could muster. Her heart stuttered when Mel drew her fingers back exquisitely slowly and plunged down again at the same leisurely pace. With each luxurious thrust, Geri felt sparks of drawn-out pleasure shoot through her while Mel watched, her eyes completely black. She took her mouth again, her tongue plundering hers swiftly and unrestrainedly, in direct contrast to her slow possession of her body.

When the first wave finally crashed, Geri uttered a wordless cry and arched her back. Before she could recover, Mel added a third finger, pressed her thumb against her clit and she was peaking once more, clutching her tightly, utterly lost to everything but the primal sensations she was evoking in her.

Geri caught her breath as she came down from her orgasm. The euphoria crept in when she opened her eyes and found Mel smiling at her. There was something pleasant about it, the sweet curve of her cheek, the languid warmth in her eyes. Geri smiled into those eyes now, stroking the side of her face. “You’re so beautiful,” she said, voice low and husky.

Mel’s smile widened until she was grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, did you think we’re done?”

“Oh, _god_ ,” Geri half-moaned and half-cursed.


	17. Jealousy

From backstage Geri could hear the Croke Park crowd screaming in glee and knew without having to look that Mel B had done what she always said she’d do during her solo part: pick out a celebrity from the front-row audience and bring them on stage.

It was the opening night of the tour. They had just come off the first half and, after a break for costume change, Mel B was the first to go on stage for her solo. Geri was next and was beside herself with nervous, excitable energy. She’d been spending the better part of her time backstage, counting steps to her number and running through her entire routine when the upsurge of cheers from out front disrupted her concentration.

Geri looked up inquiringly. The noise drew a few tour dancers who huddled together on the side of the stage, gasping and giggling to each other, as they watched Mel’s act. Although curious, Geri went back to concentrating on her solo – or tried to. The delighted shrieks from the audience were getting louder and now intermingled with thrilled yells of someone’s name. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to focus in this noise anyway. So, she got up and walked over to join the dancers.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

The dancers turned to her and one of them said, “Oh, hi, Geri! Mel B’s done it now!”

“What? What’s she done?” Geri craned her neck to see.

The dancers were laughing. “Mel’s gone and dragged Heidi Klum on stage!”

 

* * *

 

 

She was blonde and svelte, 5’ 9” tall, with a broad, easy smile. The supermodel was talking animatedly with Mel, hazel eyes lighting up as the latter made a joke and punctuated it with her booming, Northern laugh. They were interrupted by a group of glamorous-looking men and women coming towards them, causing the blonde to break into a wide grin as she waved them over. After a moment, Geri heard Mel’s roar of pleasure at the sight of her friends, who had apparently come all the way from L.A. to see the first show of the tour.

So, this was the new best friend, eh? Geri quickly turned back to the VIP-access fans she’d been talking to and pretended not to have seen Emma’s brief knowing glance from behind a cluster of her own gushing devotees. Well, she was Heidi Klum – attractive, friendly, obviously popular, and, from what she’d seen on stage, a really, really good dancer. She and Mel also worked together for years in a show where, Geri had been told, the men were often inappropriate around them. So, there were a number of reasons why they had to stick together.

Geri recalled reading in passing an article devoted to their close friendship. _‘We are having fun. We laugh, we like each other,’_ Mel was quoted as saying, followed by Heidi’s declaration: _‘I love it – I love you.’_ And Mel said it right back.

She mentally shook her head and smiled at a young fan who didn’t look like he’d been born when the Spice Girls shot to fame. Nobody had told her anything. Really, why would they? It really wasn’t a big deal if she thought about it. And Emma absolutely did not have to wear that sympathetic expression every time she looked over at Geri while Mel continued to lark around with the tall blonde and their friends. Geri barely even noticed that Mel had not once looked in her direction during this backstage soiree after the show.

Thing was, Geri felt that she and Mel had grown closer than ever during this latest tour. Considering their history of falling out every time they put on a show of this caliber, that was quite a feat. Her experiences with Stephen had made Mel somewhat different – not diminished in anyway but more self-contained. She was still loud and brash in that endearingly exasperating way only she could pull off, but also softer and calmer somehow. Geri didn’t know exactly what to make of it. Even Christian was surprised upon first meeting her, later asking Geri if maybe she was in the wrong when the two had their countless spats all those years ago. This recent iteration of Mel’s character drew Geri in, and for the first time since they met she felt like she was seeing an altered side of Mel she hadn’t known before.

However, apart from the days they spent at meetings and rehearsals, Geri had not actually seen much of Mel. There were the occasional phone calls, often early in the morning when Mel was sleepless in L.A. and, Geri suspected, was too ashamed to call anybody else. Whenever she was in London though, she inevitably hung out with Emma or Melanie C, and only had the rare lunch or afternoon tea with Geri. She’d never ever been to Geri’s house in the country. It was almost like she was purposely keeping Geri at bay even as Geri had never seen her so open to her about what she was going through. It was an odd sensation, being allowed to stand just outside her circle, looking in.

 

* * *

 

 

Geri heard the water flushing in the stall behind her, followed by the door opening and the click of a woman’s heels. She kept her head down, rummaging through her handbag for her lipstick and powder, and didn’t look up until she sensed the taller woman stand next to her and turn on the faucet. Geri happened to glimpse a pair of slender hands and allowed her gaze to trail up, drawing back in surprise only to find a pair of hazel eyes, staring back at her with wry amusement.

“Hi.” Heidi had on one of her bright smiles. Her whole manner was warm and friendly. No trace at all of the stereotypical German standoffishness. “Great show by the way.”

They’d met each other before, of course, over a decade ago during the Girls’ first reunion. Heidi had been hosting the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show where the band had performed. They didn’t know each other then. Now, they sort of knew each other vicariously through Mel’s Instagram account and through common friends who moved in the same circles.

God, she was a long one, Geri thought. And she looked even more beautiful this up-close. Exquisite features. “Sorry I didn’t see you there,” Geri said with a soft laugh, becoming aware that she was staring. “I’ve been looking for my….ah, here it is!” She held up her lipstick triumphantly.

“A little goes a long way, right?”

On the mirror, Geri saw that the supermodel was grinning at her while powdering her nose. “I hope you had a good time at least,” she told her.

“Oh, I had the best time. I’m a fan, you know.”

“Mel is a complete nutter, and you are such a good sport.”

Heidi shook her head, laid an elegant hand on Geri’s shoulder. “Between you and I – _don’t_ tell Mel – you were always my favourite.”

Geri could do little else but let out a flustered laugh. Heidi gave her a knowing smile then with another tap on Geri’s shoulder, she walked past her and stepped out.

“Heidi, there you are, my darling!” Mel’s voice drifted through the open door before it shut behind the tall blonde.

Geri stared at herself in the mirror. Outside, she could hear the muffled voices of Mel and her friends; they were almost yelling in their excitement though the words were inaudible.

There was an exclusive after-party hosted by Modest for the Girls, their family, friends and a few lucky super fans at a nearby hotel. Geri was naturally going but did not plan on staying for long as Christian had an early flight to Monaco the next day. She figured she’d do her part for the meet-and-greet, do a bit of press, have a laugh with the Girls, and then check out.

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened and in popped Mel’s head, shouting, “Geri, come on! Are you coming?”

“I’m coming,” she said, wiping her hands with a paper towel. She took one last look at her reflection, fixed her hair and wiped an imaginary lipstick stain below her lip.

“God, quit faffing about.”

“I said I’m coming!” She walked through the door which Mel helpfully held open for her. When she got close, she saw Mel give her a once-over.

“What were you doing in there?” Mel pressed.

“What d’you mean? I was using the bog.”

Mel seemed unconvinced, but when Geri outwardly maintained her composure, she just shrugged. “You’re riding with us to the party? I think Heidi’s an even worse driver than you.”

“No, Mel,” Geri answered, feeling her heart do an odd flip. “Christian’s driving with the kids…”

“Right,” Mel said after a second. “Well, see you there then.”

 

* * *

 

 

The party was in full swing by the time Geri arrived with her family at the exclusive venue booked just for the evening. There was an endless flow of champagne and cocktails, appetizers and hors d’oeuvres carried in trays by wait staff. Hard drinks were served at an open bar. Celebrity guests intermingled with the crew and super fans who had scored VIP tickets to the exclusive event. Out on the red carpet outside, cameras flashed at new arrivals. Only a handful of carefully selected journos and photographers were allowed inside.

Geri left Christian with the children in order to regroup with the band in a conference room. They hugged, they laughed, they screamed their excitement at the success of their first night. Even Victoria joined them for a moment via videocall, congratulating them. A few tears were shed. And then they had to gather themselves together and stood on the dais to thank everyone for coming.

Much later, Geri found herself standing by the bar, having a warm chat with a fan, while the bartender fixed her a drink. Beside her, Christian talked on the phone, getting up to speed with his technical director about the results of the practice sessions. The children had been driven back to the hotel a while ago to be watched over by their respective nannies.

The fan loved Ginger Spice. It was obvious from the Union Jack costume and the ridiculous wig. Geri was quite loving it. Soon, however, the inevitable question was asked: “So when are you going to drop your fourth album, if you don’t mind me asking….” The person smiled so hopefully that Geri had to laugh.

She was spared from answering, and causing disappointment, when Emma found her. “There she is! Lovely, what are you doing all the way back here?” The pink-haired Baby Spice was certainly in a celebratory mood as she swayed towards Geri, holding a cocktail in each hand. But there was a warning in her eyes because tailing her were Mel B and Heidi, who was apparently glued to Mel’s side that evening.

“Christian, let me steal your girl for a minute,” Mel said loudly as soon as they were within earshot.

Geri’s husband smiled blankly, barely listening as he returned his attention to the person on the other end of the line.

“What is going on?” Geri asked.

“Come and have a go with us, Geri.” Emma slipped her arm around Geri’s, emptied one of the glasses she was holding and deftly handed it to a passing waiter.

“Shush, no questions. Just come on,” Mel urged. “What the bloody hell are you even doing over here, standing around like a goddamn principal at a school dance?”

Heidi let out a merry peal of girlish laughter at this.

Geri glanced at her briefly, then at Mel who rolled her eyes and grinned. It wasn’t even that funny. But she allowed herself to be dragged anyways towards the other side of the room where Melanie C was holding court.

Geri had always prided herself on her self-awareness, but it took her awhile to realize – as she and Emma moved through the crowd; Mel, still with Heidi draped all over her arm, walking just a bit ahead – that she was jealous of Heidi’s easy camaraderie with Mel. It reminded her too much of what they used to have. The fun, wild adventures; the crazy antics, working together so closely and for so long it became impossible to draw the line between what was professional and what was personal. And Heidi had been there for Mel during one of her darkest moments as well, when Mel shut them all out and refused all help from them.

She remembered that Mel used to come to her before. Perhaps more than once although Geri had been too self-involved to realize. Mel had always been poor at communicating feelings and Geri had not always been patient, been less than caring. Both of them often made the mistake of turning everything physical, into sex. It was simpler that way for a brief period, until the afterglow faded and things like intimacy and the mechanics of how to make a relationship like theirs work created a myriad of problems.

Too complicated and difficult. Too hard. They were meant, and not meant, to be friends.

Even so, that a woman who only knew Mel a few years could have her trust so completely hurt Geri in a hollowed-out space where it shouldn’t. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Geri, I’m sorry but I need to fly out tonight,” Christian said quietly about an hour later. He had brought her to the balcony away from the others where they could have some privacy.

“What’s happened?” Geri was concerned.

“It’s nothing that can’t be fixed,” he assured her. “I do need to fly out. The race is on Sunday and we still have a ways to go.”

“Well, let me see you to the airport then.”

“No, it’s alright. Go join the girls. Have fun. It’s your night.”

“Are you sure?”

“The engineers are already looking into it and have found a way to fix the problem. I’ve to go there though. I’m really sorry, me duck.” He kissed her on the temple, muttered how it was a great show and he enjoyed himself surprisingly and that Geri was always the most beautiful, and then he was turning his back and weaving through the crowd towards the nearest exit.

Geri was all too used to his abrupt travels to be sincerely affected. He always called anyway. Every night like routine. She was about to turn back when she heard a distinctly familiar chuckle coming from the side.

“Does he really call you ‘me duck?’” was the mocking question.

Geri turned and saw only the faint glow of a lighted cigarette from a shadowed portion behind a pillar. A second passed and Mel stepped out from her hidden spot. Watching her move forward, all cool and unruffled, Geri felt a curious start. It made her draw her arms around herself as she explained, “He’s from the Midlands.”

Mel smirked.

“Oh, shut it, Melanie.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No….” The rest of whatever it was Geri intended to say was forgotten. The wind was picking up and she found herself shivering slightly.

Mel drew a last hit on her cigarette before crushing it on the balustrade then tossing it into a nearby potted plant. There was always something startling and wild in the way Mel carried herself. No one ever knew what to expect. Geri thought she did but she suspected she had blinders on during their brief moments of disarray.

Behind them, they could hear the tinkling of champagne glasses, laughter from one or two guests and music. 

Moments passed. Geri sighed and said in a tiny, defeated voice, “No, he doesn’t call Monty or Blue ‘me ducklings.’”

Mel looked at her and burst into laughter. It was an easy laugh, open and unrestrained. Her beautiful face splitting into a bright grin, eyes brown and shining with mirth; and they were clear and guileless, frank and wondering. They held no judgment for her, only surprise, and not a little admiration.

Geri felt the smile bubble up from within her and along with it the words, without volition: “I love you, Brown.” 

Mel paused, surprised. Then quietly, responded: “I love you, too.”


	18. 2013 Part 3

Sometime in the night, Geri woke up. She blinked in the semi-darkness and looked around her in confusion. The white-paneled ceiling was unfamiliar. It took her a full minute to orient herself.

The hotel suite. The king-size bed. The fact that she was naked under luxurious sheets. Memories came rushing back to her. Along with them, a vague sense of unease.

The space beside her was empty.

Geri had had runners before. At one point in the past, she even preferred it that way because it was less complicated. Sometimes, sex was just sex. But it had been a while since she’d had a casual hookup. She thought it would be easy this time. That this was safe because they had history but neither was really looking for anything long-term.

She hadn’t planned to stay the night, truth be told. But it was impossible to say no after she’d already given in to temptation once. There was always something special about Mel’s loving – passionate and sexy and all-consuming. But tonight she was laser-focused and, under expert hands and ardent lips, Geri had come undone, so much so she felt exposed and vulnerable. Nothing could have prepared her for it, or the apprehension of waking up alone.

Geri slowly stretched her arm, laying her palm flat on the sheet next to her. Warm. Just then, the faint sounds of running water came filtering through the bathroom door.

The light in the bathroom switched off. Geri did not move from where she lay. A faint sniffing sound, followed by light steps crossing the room towards the bed. The sheets whispered as Mel got under them.

After a moment, Geri looked at Mel over her shoulder. The woman was gazing at her with an expression Geri thought nostalgic but didn’t recognize. She forgot her own misgivings as she shifted and turned to face her. “What’s wrong?” She wondered.

Mel didn’t speak at once. Soft light from outside fell on her, revealing the sweet curve of cheek, the arch of her brow. Her eyes, almond-shaped and thickly lashed, were shadowed by the night. Geri didn’t realize she was holding her breath until Mel whispered, “I thought you’d gone.”

The rawness of that admission pierced Geri, made her wonder if she’d made a terrible mistake. Again. What made her think they could have an affair and be practical about it? But it was all done – they were in bed. And the least they owed each other now was honesty.

(The essence of this felt dangerously familiar.)

“I thought you left me first,” she confessed.

There was a soft chuckle coming from Mel. Geri couldn’t see her face but her voice was laced with amusement, and not without a little spite, when she said, “It’ll serve you right, I think. For a change.”

Geri just smiled.

Mel was moving forward, her hand already sliding around Geri’s waist, tugging her closer. The touch of her skin stirred something primal in her like it always did. Geri wanted a moment to think, to reconsider, but soft, feathery touches of fingers running up and down her back lit tiny fires in their wake, and she burned.

“Mel…”

“Shh,” Mel whispered, bringing their faces together, lips brushing hers. “Let us have tonight, Geri.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So what, did you sleep together or something? Again?” Emma quipped as she placed a forkful of cake in her mouth. She was teasing, of course, judging from the cheeky smile and the glint of mischief in those baby blues.

The two of them were at a small café, an old favorite of theirs, where they often met for small get-togethers like this. It was a thing they did, starting around the time of their first reunion. At first, it was just a way to exchange mum tips. It soon evolved into a monthly ritual where they bonded over everything from baby updates to keeping each other in the loop about their individual endeavors.

This particular afternoon, Emma was telling Geri about Beau and Tate’s latest antics, playing around in the house, which led Geri to accidentally reveal what Mel and Bluebell did the other day. Emma was not necessarily surprised that Mel had spent time with Geri’s kid until it became apparent that it was something that happened frequently while Mel was in London, judging for _Stepping Out_.

Hence, the current trajectory of the conversation.

Geri’s slight panic at Emma’s question was imperceptible, aided in part by the pair of large sunglasses she was wearing which covered almost half of her face. She didn’t think Emma caught on. “We just spent time together, that’s all,” she said, studiously stirring her tea.

“Yeah, all the time apparently,” Emma replied, still joshing around, with absolutely no inkling that she was hitting close to home. She let out a laugh as she recalled something, exclaiming, “Goodness, the way you two flirt over Twitter sometimes. Melanie and I used to take bets which one of you would crack first. Vicky thinks you’re both just one tweet away from disaster….”

Emma went on but Geri was barely listening. She was sitting back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, hands cupping her elbows. The sunglasses made her expression look cool and remote, the only sign of distress, the small movements she made with her hands, stroking her own arms as though in reassurance and comfort.

She was remembering her last exchange with Mel before her flight back to L.A.

 

* * *

 

 

Mel sniffed hard and wiped her nose with the ball of her thumb. Facing the mirror, she looked at her reflection without really seeing. It took a full minute for the effects to set in. When it did, everything seemed to take on a rainbow-ish tint and the euphoria made it okay for her to smile again.

Before leaving, she grabbed her phone, marked off as ‘read’ the string of ugly texts on the screen, and stepped out.

“Alright, Mel?” Her make-up artist asked her.

Mel just gave him a beatific smile, then roared, “Ahhhh! Come on, let’s get this shit started!”

It was her last day in London and the work at the studio took hours to finish. After a short wrap party, Mel went out for drinks with a few crew members who had become good friends.

It was late when she got back to her hotel, but she was still completely wired. There were 17 missed calls from Stephen. She swiped past them and instead called Geri, who sounded a bit odd on the phone but agreed to come anyway. While waiting, she did a line of white. Just to take the edge off.

That night, their loving was rough. Not painful or forced. But it was stripped of all artifice. There were no soft words. No slow taking. Raw need erupted. Frantic. Primitive. Right on the edge of it. Mel felt nothing but joy. The joy of being with Geri. The joy of having her here in this exact moment. She felt as though she’d never been so happy, so lucky, so brilliant. She was the very best version of herself. And Geri, it seemed, loved her that night, loved her for hours. Seeming completely intent in forgetting everything but the glorious sensation of lips and teeth and hands.

Mel let her. She let her drive them both to distraction, struggling only to hold on even while she slipped and drowned for the longest time before gasping air. And when the fierce waves finally rushed to overtake her, Geri was there to drink her cries.

“Geri,” she breathed when she recovered enough to open her eyes.

Geri had melted on top of her and didn’t move. But Mel could hear each labored breath, feel her body shuddering still. She reached up and idly twisted a strand of her hair around her fingers while she let her mind drift.

After an eternity, Geri finally stirred and shifted to lie next to her. Her eyes remained closed so Mel had occasion to study her cherished face unobserved. She felt a deep sense of compassion for her – for every person in the world, in fact. She felt like she could reveal any part of herself now, say anything, no matter how personal or banal.

“I’m leaving Stephen,” she said.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a while before Emma noticed that Geri was quiet, prompting her to call her name.

Geri stirred, furrowing her brows slightly. “You were saying?”

“I think I lost you there for a minute,” Emma observed. She was studying Geri’s face closely. “What’s bothering you, my lovely?”

A faint shadow passed over Geri’s countenance as she considered lying to the woman who was one of her best friends. It wasn’t fair to put this on Emma. Not again. They’d been through this before. They always made such a mess of things.

Emma drew in a sharp breath.

Geri didn’t realize it at first but for Emma’s reaction, then she felt it and tasted the salt on her lips.

“My god, Geri….”

Geri brought her hand up and touched the wayward tear with the pads of her fingers. She stared at it for a long minute, rubbing the wetness between her fingers together, frowning. Confused. Shattered.

“Oh, my darling, my _darling,_ ” Emma said in a completely devastated tone.

 

* * *

 

 

Sometime before the sun rose, Geri was woken up by water running from the bathroom. She looked up groggily and saw that the door was slightly ajar, revealing a glimpse of Mel leaning over the sink.

Geri checked her watch and saw that it was 4:00 a.m. She wasn’t sure if paparazzi had clocked her coming to Mel’s hotel last night but if they did, it was important they didn’t document her walk of shame in the morning. So, despite being bone-tired she sat up and carefully lowered her feet to the floor.

Her clothes were strewn all across the room where Mel had recklessly thrown them the night before. She picked them up one by one, putting them on as she did. She had just managed to slip on her dress when she heard a long, loud sniff, followed by another, coming from the open door of the bathroom.

She paused, went still, her mind turning over all possibilities but the one staring her right in the face.

When Mel stepped out and saw Geri standing there, she had not enough grace to look ashamed. She simply arched her brows, curving her lips just so.

Geri felt her stomach take a dive. She couldn’t speak a word, could only stare up at her with a look of utter betrayal, as her whole world crumbled around her.

Had she been a fool all along?

Mel was looking at her with no answer of her own.


	19. GEM

Mel got off the car and walked the few steps to the tall gate of Geri’s North London home. She was alone. The place was familiar. She’d been here countless times. Geri and her husband had actually bought a mansion in a different neighborhood in addition to a sprawling country manor. So, Mel understood that Geri did not use this house anymore though why she kept it, Mel didn’t know. She didn’t think it was her place to wonder whether Geri just wanted to have a place – her own place – to go.

It had been a while since she last saw or spoke with her. Back then, Mel naively thought that the disconnect was momentary, that all they needed was some time apart to come to terms with their personal issues, and that they’d find some common ground again. But Mel had misjudged the depths of her own feelings, or the swiftness of Geri’s detachment.

Sometimes, she wondered if that had opened the floodgates. It had certainly discouraged any clumsier attempts to find solace in old friendships and other connections to the past. At no stage during her darkest moments, under the worst of her pathos, had she drawn on the memories of happier times, of everything she used to have, as a source of hope or meaning, or even an escape from the pressing reality in which she later found herself. Standing on a precipice, however, had done something extraordinary to her: it had reduced the events of the last eight years to something if not comprehensible, then at least contained.

On that day, in her childlike search for the most basic of comforts, Mel came close to letting go. But she held on. For the next few days, she continued to hold on. Day by day. Little by little, she tore down the walls she’d unwittingly built around herself and let her people in.

Geri’s was among the first calls she took. It seemed like a simple matter. Natural. Geri had been and will always be the one. After the usual niceties, the conversation meandered a bit before Geri asked how long she was in London for and would she like to have afternoon tea?

“With you?” Mel asked drily.

There was an uncertain pause. “Yes, with me, if that’s alright?”

“I’m messing with you, Geri,” Mel said, betraying a chuckle. “Of course.”

And so here she was, standing outside the front gate. A housekeeper opened the door, followed closely by Geri who greeted her warmly with an embrace that was a little too tight and a little too long.

“You look amazing,” Geri blurted out after they parted and she had time to study Mel.

Mel scoffed, not missing the way Geri’s eyes tracked hers. “You’re always saying stuff like that, Geri.”

“I always mean it, Melanie.” Geri was dressed carefully in a black and white ensemble, giving the sense that she had not merely dressed but dressed up, as though in a costume that suited not the house nor the occasion but some other world she inhabited in her mind. “I’m trying for a look, like a lady,” she confessed lightly when Mel made a comment about it.

“You do weird things. You’re not a lady.”

“Shut up, Melanie, and come into my kitchen.”

They made attempts at a conversation. Of the past few years, there was not a lot to say really. They’d been in each other’s orbit for most of it, and then they weren’t. That spoke for itself. Instead, Mel talked about her dad whose condition had gotten worse and worse, and Geri reminisced about the weekends spent in Mel’s home, about a time when they secretly borrowed Martin’s car and she banged it trying to parallel park on a street outside a club.

“Bloody hell, I’ve forgotten about that,” Mel exclaimed. “My dad gave me such a twisting. You, however….hang on,” she looked at Geri accusingly, “you got off easy.”

Geri laughed.

“You banged the car and you didn’t even get so much as a telling off! I, on the other hand –”

“That’s because you kept talking back.”

Mel shook her head, smiling. “I was a bit of a little shit, wasn’t I?”

“You still are actually,” Geri quipped, earning a predictable hard shove from Mel.

It was difficult to cram what seemed like a lifetime into four hours but that was what Mel did. She talked about her dad incessantly, often jumping without warning, in no particular order, from the 1950s to the 00s, from stories of her mother, black grandma, cousins and total strangers. Sometimes, in the middle of a story, she broke off to laugh at an old memory. In some of these stories Geri was there, like the family holiday spent in Nevis, or family parties held in the Browns’ back garden.

“He loves you, Mel, in his own way,” Geri said when Mel grew quiet.

Geri, Mel learned earlier, had uncannily kept in touch with Mel’s family and probably knew more about Martin’s condition than even Mel did. She told Mel of a time when Martin revealed to Geri that one of his fondest anecdotes shared to people he just met was the five of them dancing in his kitchen, performing ‘ _Wannabe_.’ She gave her characteristic loud laugh, quick and open.

Mel gazed at her, ignoring for the moment the new put-together look that made her seem almost unreal, and seeing only her old friend, the one she used to stay up with late at night, talking big dreams and their visions for the future. How young they had all been. How far they’d come since that crazy night, dancing in her parents’ kitchen with a demo of _‘Wannabe’_ playing on Mel C’s cassette player. Back then, she genuinely, honestly believed they were going to conquer the world.

“You know something,” Mel said after some length, an idea slowly forming, “next year, it’ll be twenty years since we released ‘ _Wannabe_.’”

Geri blinked at her. She had that expression, the one that told Mel she knew exactly what she was on about without need of elaboration. Geri shook her head, excitement and disbelief warring on her face. “Oh no, not again. We’ve been over this, Brown.”

Yet, the more she tried to downplay it, the more it began to make sense. “Come on, Geraldine, I know you. You want this as much as I do. It’ll be fun.”

“No, no, but Victoria will never agree to it.”

Mel waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll talk to Si about it. He can talk to her. Meanwhile, the two of us will go and talk with Emma and Melanie.”

Geri’s eyes were sparkling. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we’re doing this again.”

 

* * *

 

 

Victoria didn’t want to do it.

Geri shouldn’t have been surprised. If Melanie C was the guarded one and Emma, the one who sneaked under everyone’s emotional radar, Vicky was always the most practical-minded of them all. She cited all the reasons why a reunion was impossible for her and Geri realized that she was never going to be on board with this.

“…besides, weren’t you the one who wanted to end it on a high? The Olympics was it,” Victoria said.

“I know, I just thought it would be nice. For the fans?” Geri didn’t want to put this on Victoria because she knew, more than anybody else, how difficult it was to do something when the heart wasn’t in it. She couldn’t help adding though, “Emma and Melanie B really want to do it.”

When Vic remained quiet, Geri found herself dejectedly thinking about how best to deliver the disappointing news to the others. She was especially anxious about how Mel would take it. She’d been so hopeful that they do something. Lately, she’d been particularly adamant to the point that it hinted strongly of desperation.

(‘ _She needs this to happen, Geri. Can’t you tell?’_ Emma told her and Geri felt instantly driven to push harder, knowing what Mel had just gone through and sensing the almost overwhelming need to do it for her.)

They had the timing right down to pat, too. ‘Wannabe’ was released twenty years ago this year. It was only appropriate to acknowledge that, at the very least. But pressing harder only got Melanie C upset and Vic got so pestered that at one point she accused Geri of overcompensating for something. Vicky could always cut right through Geri’s bullshit.

“I’m really sorry, Geri. I don’t know what else to say,” Vic was saying.

“... It’s alright,” Geri muttered. “I had to try.”

The call ended with Geri still hedging over telling Mel.

“Oh, fuck her!” Mel exclaimed over Skype when she found out on a three-way video call with Geri and Emma. “We can do this on our own. Just the three of us. What do you say?” Of the five of them, Mel B was the least sentimental.

“Well…Melanie hasn’t said no,” Emma began.

“I’ve spoken with Melanie,” Geri said hesitantly. “She said she’s not going to do it if it’s not all five of us. There’s hardly any point in --”

Mel made an angry huffing sound, cutting Geri off mid-sentence. “She can fuck off, too. If she wants to do it, she should just bloody do it.”

Geri had nothing to say to that. Above all, she felt guilty about being unable to do even this. She had been the first person that Mel called despite their more recent falling out. Their disastrous affair aside, they had always been each other’s driving force so that no matter how bad things got between them or on their own, there was always a reason for them to come together. Past resentments and a healthy dose of pride might make them drag their feet a bit but their bond remained unbroken.

So, when Mel asked, Geri had agreed immediately, almost in relief. Together the two of them had talked to Emma, who was enthused by the idea and confessed a desire to record songs again. They had even enlisted the help of Simon to get Victoria onboard. However, months passed since the trio’s first meeting in December last year and so far, nothing had been decided as the other two remained noncommittal.

Now it was June, and Mel was coming over as promised. Geri felt a little nervous and apprehensive. She wasn’t exactly certain about going ahead with this without Melanie C and Victoria. During the interim, a more personal thing had come up as well – a gift she had almost given up on, and something she still wanted to keep to herself no matter how much she loved her girls.

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting was going well. So well in fact that Emma silently chided herself for worrying over nothing. Mel and Geri had obviously patched up their differences. They were laughing and taking the mick out of each other, just like old times. If there was still any tension, they hid it as well from Emma as from each other.

Now, the three of them moved to Emma’s kitchen in time to find out that the home-made pizza Emma had placed in the oven was burning.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so bad at this,” Emma apologized for the nth time.

“Christ, Emma, how does Jade put up with you?”

“You put the heat on too high. See? That’s where you went wrong.”

“Oh god, I’m so embarrassed.”

“I don’t think this is even edible.”

“We can order in. Or…do you have anything in the fridge we could knock up into a meal?”

Emma opened the refrigerator. “Goodness, let’s see. I’m supposed to…. I’ve got bits and bobs. I’ve got a banana, hot dogs and…some buns.”

The last bit she said with so much obvious distress that Mel and Geri exchanged looks and burst out laughing.


	20. Out of the Bag

They were gearing up for their last concert – a three-night performance in London and the culmination of their UK and Ireland tour. With only two days to prepare, they set about making last-minute tweaks. The stage was bigger than the ones in all the previous venues so adjustments had to be made with their routines, songs were dropped and added to the set list and the stage props had to be checked and re-checked, then fine-tuned. All three performances were going to be filmed so steps were also taken to ensure that the sound carried through and the cameras weren’t blocked.

On their last day of rehearsals, tensions spiked between Mel B and Geri. It was enough to cause some concern from Melanie C, who had by then lost count how many times practice was interrupted by the two getting into a verbal spat that blew over just as quickly as it blew up. It was obvious they were trying to keep it in check…barely.

“…ahh, no, Geri!” Mel B exclaimed from the far end of the stage.

Melanie C paused in her routine and looked over.

Mel B was quickly striding towards the center as Geri looked on, brows drawn together. “Oh, for god’s sake, what now?” Geri snapped.

“You went bloody wrong on that one!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. You were supposed to turn at the beat like that.” She demonstrated. “But you turned too late and messed it up.”

“Okay, it was a mistake, but you went off a bit too early –”

“Let’s start that again,” Mel cut her off and signalled at the sound director instead.

Looking back at it now, Melanie thought it began a few days after they had started their tour. A story run by a small tabloid was picked up by a smattering of press about Mel and Geri’s past. At the time, it was just another cheap tabloid fodder, normally ignored and swept under the rug as they focused on more important things. They all knew about it anyway, but for the story to come out now and become a subject of fascination in the frill edges of the public was understandably a bit discomfiting for the two involved, especially when taken out of context, as was inevitable.

Outwardly, Mel B and Geri took it all in good humor, never trying to downplay it but trying their best to deflect further probing. The friction first manifested when some reporter got antsy with the lukewarm reception of this piece of 90s gossip and decided to give a platform to Mel’s exes for them to chime in. Suddenly, it became a ‘thing,’ one that neither Mel nor Geri could control anymore as it took on a life of its own.

There was the tour to distract them, of course. Four nights a week, they performed to thousands of people. But even the validation from adulating fans could not erase the mess created by pictures of Mel and Geri out and about in London from a few years back being splashed across the front pages along with sleazy quotes from Stephen insinuating an affair going on. It was clear he was taking full advantage of this latest media blitz to try and get one over Mel, never mind if he ran over a few people along the way.

While Mel was typically fighting back with all the tools in her arsenal, Geri was battling her own demons. She’d been called a ‘homewrecker’ before when her relationship with Christian became public. The notion of a possible affair she had with Mel while the latter was still very much married stirred the pot again and old slurs were being flung about. Christian was disturbed but being away kept him out of the loop most of the time. His family was horrified, however as was Geri’s. Being out on tour made it all the worse because there was no time to regroup, no time to really sit down and talk it out with the people who mattered. Everything had to wait until the tour was completed, and Melanie thought that was what was truly eating Geri.

What surprised Melanie C the most was that it was all true – the later affair. Emma, Melanie soon learned, knew about it. She said she didn’t know at the time it was happening but learned about it after the fact, and that neither Mel nor Geri talked to her about what really happened, only that it was over as soon as it started.

“Again!” Mel B shouted.

“Okay, I think I almost got it.”

“You’re doing good, Geri,” Emma said encouragingly.

“No, she’s not,” Mel quickly shot her down. “Don’t lie to her. She’s messing this up.”

“What the bloody hell is your problem?”

Melanie C sighed and walked over to a table set up with face towels and water bottles. She grabbed a towel and wiped her face with it, keeping only half an ear to the argument currently going on. It was the same old fight they always had, of Geri messing up and Mel mercilessly dragging her for it. She was soon joined at the table by Emma, who took a water bottle and drank from it.

“Do you think we should take a break?” Melanie ventured loud enough to get heard over the two in the midst of what was looking more and more like a truly heated quarrel.

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie C watched the cigarette tremble as Mel B tried to light it unsuccessfully. Try though she did, she couldn’t seem to generate a steady flame in her lighter.

They were all backstage, having decided to take a break as suggested to allow things to cool off. Geri and Emma had gone off, probably to their dressing rooms. Melanie C decided to hang about, talking to the dancers and the crew when she spied Mel B going off by herself. She found her later in the back of a trailer van, smoking a fag – or trying to.

“It’s an unhealthy habit anyway,” Melanie pointed out, and Mel gave her a slightly offended look.

“Not you, too. Geri’s been harping on it, you’d think the bint had never smoked a fag her entire life.”

Melanie snorted. Mel was right. Geri could be such a hypocrite.

“Right now, I really need this to relax.”

She looked so shaken, Melanie really couldn’t blame her. After everything that had happened, on top of the usual stresses of being on tour, it was no wonder they were all feeling a bit frazzled. Perhaps, more so for the two most dramatic people in the band. But it was almost over now. She said so as she took the lighter from Mel’s nerveless fingers and held the flame steady for her.

“Thank you,” Mel said as she took a deep inhale and blew smoke through her nostrils.

Melanie leaned against the side of the van and studied the points of her shoes. The silence was comfortable. There was always an easy camaraderie between her and Mel. Maybe because they were both Northerners. They had that as a common ground. Coming from the same background, growing up in similar neighborhoods, some things they just instinctively knew without going into deep discussions over it. They had the same sort of outlook though their approaches were different. While Melanie was comfortable holding something back, Mel was an all-or-nothing kind of girl. She and Geri were similar in that way, which was probably why they got on so well.

Melanie did not want to get into it, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t pique her curiosity to discover the brief affair between her and Geri when drawn against the backdrop of what she already knew of them by then and what happened afterwards. Was all of that – Geri’s hasty engagement and marriage, Mel’s suicide attempt and eventual divorce – part of the fallout? Were there lingering feelings involved? Because getting back together with an ex, no matter how long ago it may have been, was never going to be an easy decision to make. Melanie could never imagine it for herself.

Unless, buried under a mountain of old resentment and vitriol that accompanied each failed relationship, there was still that sense of attachment. Maybe something even deeper.

What a complete and utter mess.

Melanie always thought they were both insane anyway. What was it they said? Only complete nutters did the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time.

“You know Emma was right,” she began, slipping her hands in her pockets. “Geri’s doing well. We’re going to have a good run on stage tomorrow night, you’ll see.” She really believed that, too. None of their performances were perfect any how. They didn’t need to be perfect to entertain a crowd of thousands; they just needed to be completely in the moment so that nothing else mattered.

“I know,” Mel said, flicking ash from her cigarette. “I’m just…ahhhh! I’m just mad, I guess.”

“About what?”

“The fucking devil, the media, everybody basically.” Mel brushed some lint off her pants. “I’m bloody mad at Geri.”

Melanie was quiet for a beat, and then she said, “What are you mad at her for?”

“You know that she secretly blames me for this.”

“I didn’t know that. Has she said anything?" 

“She doesn’t have to.” Mel took one last deep hit on her cigarette before tossing it on the ground and crushing it in the sole of her boot. She started to turn away when Melanie put a hand on her shoulder. Mel glanced down first at her hand and then at Melanie, brown eyes dark and flashing.

Melanie drew back, surprised by the savageness hidden in the dark depths, but she held on and said, “I don’t pretend to understand, Mel, but I think you’re wrong that Geri blames you for this.”

“What do you know?”

Melanie ignored the scornful tone and instead returned with a compassionate: “Come on, I can’t stand seeing the two of you like this.”

“Like what?” Mel snapped.

“Like you’re bottling everything up inside, just waiting to explode!” Melanie replied, some heat in her voice.

“The fuck are you talking about,” Mel challenged.

“I think I know you two well enough by now to know that when you fight, you’re always fighting about something else entirely. You’re not mad at her for messing up. Hell, you’re not even mad at her for some imagined slight. You need to talk to her.”

 

* * *

 

 

Their first night performing at the Wembley Stadium was a great success. Melanie was so beside herself with the excitement and leftover adrenaline she entered the wrong dressing room, looking for – she couldn’t even remember now what it was she was looking for, because standing there were Mel and Geri, wearing matching stricken looks on their faces.

Melanie imagined her own expression mirrored theirs.

Geri was standing with her back pressed against the wall. Mel was right in front of her and Melanie wasn’t sure but Mel might have had her hands resting on the wall on either side of Geri’s head before Geri forcibly pushed her away and hurried past Melanie at the doorway.

Melanie watched Geri go, noticing that she was wiping her face as she went, then slowly looked back to meet Mel’s gaze – only to be struck by the agony she saw in there.

“For god’s sake,” she couldn’t help uttering when Mel just brushed past her without speaking.

 

* * *

 

 

Melanie had a long time to think about that scene.

She woke up at almost midday the next day and had a solitary breakfast while Scarlet watched television in the next room. She thought about the scene while munching on unbuttered toast. She thought of nothing else when she checked her phone for messages and the day’s updates.

At any other time, she couldn’t care less about people’s personal lives. Above all, she avoided drama, especially of the kind that involved any of her band mates. She loved them but it can all get a bit suffocating. And now, this – whatever it was between Mel B and Geri. She should have known it was going to be those two.

Last night came as a total shock for her, however. She was not even sure anymore of what she saw, or what would have happened if she hadn’t walked in on them at that moment. It was a confrontation of some kind. Emotions bubbling up and breaking through the surface. Melanie remembered that Geri was practically in tears. Mel was close to breaking down. But neither one wanted to speak about it.

It astonished Melanie – the depth of feeling that existed between them. And what it all meant for them was a worrying thought that lodged itself in the back of her mind.

“What do you think?” Melanie asked Emma later.

They were having a late lunch together at a French restaurant in the hotel they were staying at for the three-night concert. Mel and Geri were nowhere in sight.

Emma shook her head. “I don’t know. Geri’s all in pieces over it.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“A bit, but she wasn’t making much sense.”

Melanie let out a harsh laugh. “What a bloody mess.”

Emma didn’t speak, just picked up her cup of tea and held it with both hands.

“You know, I don’t even feel sorry for them,” Melanie said, beginning to feel pissed off. “You’d think they learned something over these years, but no, they pull the same shit all the damn time. I can’t even begin to –”

“I think they’re in love,” Emma said quietly.

And Melanie released a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “ _Fuck."_


	21. Epilogue

When the story first broke out, it was Mel’s birthday.

 

* * *

 

 

The noise from the crowd was starting to subside. Inside her dressing room, Geri was alone, having just asked her posse to give her a few minutes to herself. It was not an unusual request. Every time she finished a performance, she always liked some time alone to sort of gather herself together. Nobody really questioned it anymore.

Geri was changing out of her costume when a knock at the door made her pause.  “Yes?” She said, without turning, assuming it was just her assistant come to pick up something she’d forgotten.

“Are you decent?” A familiar voice asked. It was meant to be a joke but it fell flat as Geri whirled around to find the last person she wanted to see standing there.

Their gazes met and held.

“Depends,” Geri said cynically, turning back around to shove her hands through the armholes of her dress. “If you ask the tabloids, I’m quite indecent these days.”

“I meant, if you were dressed,” Mel explained unnecessarily.

Geri heard her step in and close the door behind her. Through the mirror, she saw her approach and then she felt, rather than saw, her fingers brush the skin on her back. A frisson traveled unbidden through her spine where she touched her and Geri looked up in alarm but Mel’s face betrayed nothing as she zipped up her dress for her.

“Thank you,” Geri murmured, stepping away to put some distance between them. She picked up a pair of earrings and put them on each ear.

Mel moved to prop herself up on the dresser and fished out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her purse. She lit up a stick and smoked, quietly gazing into nothing.

Geri continued to putter about, retouching her make-up and fixing her hair. But there was tension in her movements as though every cell in her body was aware of the woman in the room. After a while, she glanced up and saw Mel’s reflection staring at hers so intensely she had to look away.

With a long sigh, Mel ventured, “What happens now, Geri?”

Geri didn’t answer right away. She couldn’t. She had none that wasn’t empty and devoid of any real meaning.

“You realize this isn’t just going to bloody fucking go away,” Mel said, gradually letting the mask fall to betray impatience and pain barely contained. “Say something goddammit.”

“What do you want me to say?” Geri finally said. There was an edge to her voice, as though she too was barely holding it in.

“What do I want you to say?” Mel repeated. When she didn’t respond, she said, “I don’t give a fuck. Blame me, hit me, tell me you hate me – I don’t bloody care. Just fucking say something.”

Because she couldn’t stand this – this _freezing out._ It was unbearable. She just stood there, she just stood there, and she wouldn’t look at her.

“You think I hate you?” The voice was so remote, it sounded almost disembodied.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen –”

“I know you didn’t,” she interrupted.

“—he doesn’t care about the affair. He doesn’t,” Mel continued. “He knows this will hurt me. He knows more than anything this will _hurt_ me. Do you understand?”

Geri did not speak.

“Say something,” Mel whispered harshly.

Geri looked around then, her eyes locking on desperately to Mel’s. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she cried. “You want me to blame you, _hate_ you? Well, I don’t. I don’t blame you, and I don’t hate you. Maybe that’s the problem.”

There was a fierceness to her tone that took Mel by surprise. Her eyes were like shards of glass as they stared at her in a silent plea.

_Don’t –_

Paying no heed, Mel put out a hand and though Geri averted her face, she did not move away and Mel found herself cupping her cheek. Her hands weren’t gentle.

“You knew how I felt.”

“No, I didn’t,” Geri denied softly, then without warning, suddenly began to sob.

“You asked me to write it all off.”

“We agreed never to speak of this again. You _agreed._ ”

“…Was that all that it was for you?”

“Why are you doing this?” Geri was saying, tears falling freely now. “I was okay before you came. I was okay. I was doing good. I was doing more than good. But you had to come and you had to muddle everything up. You weren’t supposed to…. Why are you doing this, Melanie?”

“I’m not doing anything to you, Geri,” Mel said, dropping her hand.

“You think you’re the only one who got her heart broken? You think I don’t regret anything? That I don’t think of what might have happened if I hadn’t walked away that day at the hotel? Or feel the guilt that ate me alive when I did walk and you did - _that-_ like none of it mattered?”

“You have no idea what I’ve been through!” Mel exploded from where she was seated to shove at Geri’s shoulders until she ended up with her back pressed against the wall. “You had no fucking idea, so don’t you fucking tell me what does or doesn’t matter.”

“Because you never told me!”

“I was all wrong, Geri. I was all twisted, but you came to me, with your positive bullshit, and you made me believe that things could be better. I was messed up – I _am_ messed up – and then you walked away. You walk away like you always do.”

Geri took a shuddering breath, and asked brokenly, “What do you want me to _say_?”

“Tell me it meant something,” Mel said with more clarity than she had ever had in the midst of this entire debacle.

Geri closed her eyes, swallowed. She was silent for the longest time, and then:

“It meant something.”

 

* * *

 

 

It has _never_ not meant something.

 

* * *

 

 

“What are you going to do?”

“I have no bloody idea.”

It was right after they had finished with the after-tour press and Mel had a flight to catch that same evening in time for a court call due Monday. She was skipping the small party held to celebrate the success of the tour. Before she left, Geri drew her aside.

“You’re going to be alright,” she said. It was delivered with characteristic conviction, like she knew something the other didn’t.

“You think so, eh?”

“Yes, I do actually.”

After everything, Mel felt fortified. She sent Geri a sideward glance. “And you?”

“Me?”

“Are you going to be alright?”

“…I have to sort out a few things. I think –” and here she laughed with undisguised bitterness “—my life, as I know it now, is over.”

And there it was. Like someone had shoved their hand in her chest and squeezed without mercy.

“And is it over with me, too?”

Geri looked pensive as she considered her answer. “No, my darling, it’s not over with you.”

“Why?”

She shook her head. “Don’t make me say it, Mel. Not yet.”

She did not know how she was able to breathe. “When?”

“What do you mean ‘when’?”

“When? When will you say it?”

“Name it.”

“A year from now.” Too long. But they needed it. Her heart was in her throat.

“Alright. A year from now.” Geri stepped towards her, surprising Mel, and leaned on her as if with a drop of tired wings.

Mel put her arms around her, felt her heartbeat in rhythm with hers. After a moment, she drew back, and with a little smile of warning: “Geraldine, if you don’t call me after you’ve sorted out and got all your shit done here, I’ll –”

“My shit?”

She peered down at her. “Your…crap?”

Geri tossed her head back and laughed. “You’re the worst, Brown. The absolute worst.”

And Mel joined in her laughter, laughing at themselves and thinking that there seemed to be no stopping it. They just kept falling…

 

 

_END_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end. each chapter is a prompt given by the Meri fandom over at Tumblr. also posted at ffnet. hope you enjoyed. this is all fiction but, with Mel B's big "reveal," now we know there was some truth to the rumours after all. lol 
> 
> this has been fun. don't know if I'll be writing more. real life is better than fiction anyway. hope the two are ok and that they remain friends in any case.


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